I liked this chapter more than the first release. Even though it didn't move as quickly, I had a better feel for how concerned Sanzo was for Goku. In the first release of the chapter, we jumped from the action packed Chapter 17 to a summarized Chapter 18. I knew Sanzo and crew were worried for Goku and that they were working on the West, but it felt a little like a Cliff Notes version. I still loved it and was very happy with the chapter. But, the rewrite...improved the whole feel of the chapter greatly.
The line "Goku heeded Sanzo’s command for about six hours. Long enough to put everyone’s minds at least partially at ease." and the entire infirmary section showcased the mindset of the crew and Sanzo beautifully.
Once again, the first version was very nice. I just feel that the rewrite explicitly showed the emotions of the crew and kept the feeling of urgency built in Chapter 17.
I really enjoyed this fic! Thank you for writing such a wonderful Saiyuki AU. I followed it closely and I loved the way you chose to end it.
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Date: 2007-11-20 02:16 am (UTC)I liked this chapter more than the first release. Even though it didn't move as quickly, I had a better feel for how concerned Sanzo was for Goku. In the first release of the chapter, we jumped from the action packed Chapter 17 to a summarized Chapter 18. I knew Sanzo and crew were worried for Goku and that they were working on the West, but it felt a little like a Cliff Notes version. I still loved it and was very happy with the chapter. But, the rewrite...improved the whole feel of the chapter greatly.
The line "Goku heeded Sanzo’s command for about six hours. Long enough to put everyone’s minds at least partially at ease." and the entire infirmary section showcased the mindset of the crew and Sanzo beautifully.
Once again, the first version was very nice. I just feel that the rewrite explicitly showed the emotions of the crew and kept the feeling of urgency built in Chapter 17.
I really enjoyed this fic! Thank you for writing such a wonderful Saiyuki AU. I followed it closely and I loved the way you chose to end it.
:)