In-between
Mar. 25th, 2008 03:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keire_keZakuro is comedy gold, to quote Gojyo. This fic would work so much better visually. Because sometimes there are just no words. And I would totally do it too, if I had the drive. XD
NOON
The ledge was barely wide enough to drive. Hakkai took care to let Hakuryuu do most of the work. There was no denying that when it came to keeping the sentient car on the road, the sentient car was best fit for the job.
“We don’t have much further to go, according to the map,” Hakkai said, measuring the distance with his fingers. “There should be a town, just off this mountain.”
“I’m hungry!”
“Give us something new to think about, wouldja?” Gojyo muttered. He kicked Goku and stretched in the backseat, as much as the retaliation would allow. It was a lovely morning, sunny, warm, and abundant with merry chirping birds.
Then the ground underneath their wheels exploded. The tumble of rocks, sand, a car and four men moved down the slope at a rapid pace, some of the slide stopping at trees, some going onwards, until a more persistent blockade presented itself.
As soon as the dust settled Gojyo got up to his feet and groaned,. “Useless fucker,” he muttered, checking his antennae. The explosion had been half-hearted at best, because he wasn’t even singed. Come to think of it, he didn’t see any fire and, though his nose was nowhere near as good as the monkey’s, he could tell nothing was burning either. The bad news was he’d fallen of a cliff, slid down uncontrollably, and there was no telling where the other guys landed. “Shit,” he muttered lighting a cigarette. “Hakkai’d better be near, with Jeep.”
Hakkai was. No less than half an hour later the car stopped by Gojyo, with a cheerful apology from its driver. An hour later they found Sanzo, sitting calmly under a tree and smoking. “About fucking time.”
“Screw you,” Gojyo told him and stretched in the back. “Let’s go get the monkey, and get out of these woods.”
But Goku was nowhere to be found.
The evening fell, and still there was no sign the monkey was even alive and not buried under millions of tons of rocks and dust. Sanzo was becoming twitchy to Gojyo’s discomfort, but it wasn’t like Gojyo was blameless, what with the teasing and taunting. In the end Hakkai told them both to shut up, which, considering the novelty, worked. They set up camp in a clearing, hoping the fire and the smell of cooking food would lure Goku to them.
“You realise this is pointless, right?” Gojyo told Hakkai, just loud enough to be heard. “If he was within sniffing distance, the cigarette smoke would have drawn him in.”
“Dear me, the insects are so annoying tonight.” Hakkai’s hand shot out, right past Gojyo’s nose. Gojyo landed on the forest floor as Hakkai, not glancing at him, dropped the fly into the grass. “I hope the fire scares them off.”
“You’re one of a kind, man,” Gojyo muttered, getting up. “Whatever, anyway.”
Neither of them touched the food.
The next morning Sanzo opened his eyes and moved for the first time in five hours, when it became light enough to see past the end of his cigarette. He got up and stretched, blowing out smoke as he moved. “Stupid monkey,” he muttered. He kicked Gojyo on his way to the pot, by way of a morning call.
“The fuck you want, dickhead?”
“Shut up, asshole.” Sanzo dropped his almost-finished cigarette and whirled to face Gojyo. “This is all your fucking fault!”
“What the fuck is my fault now, you good-for-nothing holy baldhead! It’s not my fault you lose the monkey if someone so much as sneezes in your direction! Maybe you need a better leash!”
“Sanzo-”
“What did you just call me, you half-witted moron?”
“You heard me, priesty!”
“Sanzo-”
“Why don’t you crawl into a hole and die, I’d have one less problem on my hands!”
“Sanzo!” Hakkai’s voice finally cut through the argument.
“What!”
“Your robes are on fire.”
“Fuck!” Luckily the grass was saturated with dew, so it took less than a few stomps to put the flames out. Which led to the discovery of a singed envelope, on which the fag landed, which had caused the incident. “The hell?” It was addressed to the Sanzo party.
“’I’m willing to trade Son Goku for the Maten Sutra. Meet me in the inn outside the forest at noon,’” Sanzo read dryly. “So the twit got himself kidnapped. Brilliant.”
“Shit, people still do this kind of thing?” Gojyo grabbed the note. It was singed, but the fancy text was as legible as it probably was when it was written.
“Well, it seems to be a fool-proof way of gaining what you desire,” Hakkai said, starting to pack.
“Yeah, right. That never works. Even in the movies it never works. They always get shot.” As soon as the last word left Gojyo’s mouth, he and Hakkai turned simultaneously to look at Sanzo, who was smirking around his cigarette.
Gojyo shrugged and turned around. “Works for me.”
“Splendid resolution all around. I can’t help but wonder though, if he has any idea what he got himself into,” Hakkai said taking hold of the note.
Gojyo snorted. “Like he ever thinks about what he’s doing. Please, monkey only has enough brains to spare for eating and sleeping.”
“I didn’t mean Goku.”
Gojyo paused and considered. Then grinned. “Poor bastard.”
TWELVE HOURS EARLIER
“You been to these woods before?” Goku asked, jumping over a fallen log. He landed on his feet and dove into a roll immediately, to avoid stepping on a terrified hare. The animal disappeared into the dusk before he could straighten.
“Yes, I have,” Zakuro replied irritably, narrowly avoiding a fall. He hadn’t really, but he’d left ingeniously spaced markers. He knew his way. And this time his plan was foolproof. He would get the sutra and nothing would stop him.
“Watcha laughing for?”
“Nothing.”
“Ya think the guys are okay?”
“They should be,” Zakuro admitted gruffly. Goku took falling off a cliff mighty fine; he barely had a scratch on him. Which was all well and good; if Zakuro was going to exchange him for the sutra, he’d need the boy in good condition.
“It’s kinda hard not to be worried, sometimes,” Goku admitted, almost embarrassed by his concern. Zakuro nodded, absentmindedly, and tripped over a root.
“Fuck!”
“You gotta be careful.” Goku offered him a hand.
Zakuro stared.
By the time the darkness fell they’d managed (well, Goku had managed) to locate a wild apple tree and a patch of berries. Not that he was too happy about it.
“Oh, this sucks! I’m hungry! I want some real food.” He was perched on a branch, munching on three apples at the same time. He dropped a few down for Zakuro to catch.
“What did you expect, a sukiyaki tree?”
“I was hopin’.”
But it was still better than nothing. Despite his complaints of the culinary nature, Goku seemed to have little trouble falling asleep on a knobbly root, snoring with every other breath. Zakuro couldn’t find a comfortable spot to sit, let alone sleep. Besides, he needed to keep an eye on his bargaining chip, for a while at least. So that he wouldn’t try anything.
Around midnight Zakuro got up and wandered away from the apple tree under which Goku was snoring the night away. It didn’t seem like anything short of an apocalypse would wake him. This was only too convenient – brilliant as Zakuro was, he couldn’t be in two places at once. He had messages to deliver, not much time, and a vast distance to travel. Goku was aggravatingly attuned to the monk’s presence, which made Zakuro’s life very difficult at the moment.
On top of the distance, there was also the matter of the delivery itself. Dropping the letter in the middle of the Sanzo party’s camp was tedious, but the scoundrels didn’t even stir. “Everything is going according to plan,” Zakuro said aloud, once the distance between him and the party was deemed sufficient. “Now I shall finally acquire the sutra and dispel the dishonour on my name!”
He strutted down the forest path, secure in the knowledge he was once again in his element, and that no one in the world could make his plans go awry. That was roughly the moment he heard the sound of a body hitting a tree at a great speed. He paused and looked around. The sound was coming from the direction of the apple tree.
“Fuck!” Zakuro broke into a run. If his hostage were harmed, there would be hell to pay!
Demons, he concluded quickly upon arriving. A small band of ruffians, out to unravel his brilliant scheme. He should have known. “Why does nothing ever go smoothly!” Zakuro raged, only slightly out of breath. Except, as he realised when he finally paused his raving to take stock of the situation, it did. It was going very smoothly. Goku was just flattening the last of the five demons who’d attacked in his sleep. “You are useful to keep around, boy,” Zakuro said, impressed despite himself. No, pause, rewind. He was not impressed. The boy was an enemy and currently his hostage. Also a bargaining chip.
Goku grinned and scratched his head. “I guess. You okay?”
“Yes-” the rest of his answer was cut of by a dreadful yell. Apparently, there was a demon number six, hiding out in the shadows and waiting for an opportunity. Zakuro swore, but the guy wasn’t even looking at him, but past, as if he didn’t see him. Except he was coming straight at him, with a very sharp knife clutched in his hand.
“Geez, dontcha know when to give up?”
There was a resounding “what the hell” in Zakuro’s brain and on the demon’s face, as the latter desperately tried to find his footing. “Wow, you’re short,” Goku said, relieving the struggling demon of the knife. He was holding him up by the neck, and though he was no giant himself, the guy dangled a good handspan over the ground.
“It seems I owe you another one, lad,” Zakuro said, somehow awkwardly. That had the potential to become really quite complicated when the hostage situation got out of hand.
Goku turned his head and looked at him quizzically. “Huh?”
“Apparently you saved my live again.”
“It’s no big deal.” Zakuro felt like arguing the point – from his perspective it was an immense deal, belittling was not in order – but he didn’t get the chance to.
Out of the corner of his eye Zakuro noticed movement. He’d only had the time to raise his hand and cover his eyes before a cloud of dust exploded in Goku’s face. Goku’s grip loosened and the demon dropped down, while Zakuro made a mental note to inflict his newest hellish illusion on the interfering moron. His plans! They were a-ruined should anything happen to the boy.
Goku lost his balance and took an uncertain step backwards. His feet provided him with no stable ground however, and he started falling, straight into Zakuro’s arms. His eyes were closed.
“Damn it! Don’t you dare die, Goku!”
HALF TWO PM
Jeep wasn’t happy driving less or more than four passengers, that much was obvious. After such a long time on the road, no one could fault him to getting used to a particular distribution of weight.
“So do you reckon this is the inn?” Gojyo asked, stretching in the backseat. Maybe the monkey’s absence had some good points to it.
“According to the innkeeper, it’s the last one around here. Let’s hope that’s the side of forest the kidnapper had in mind.” Hakkai consulted the map again. The forest was nearly perfectly octagonal, with mountains and ravines separating the sides. If this wasn’t the side the kidnapper had in mind, they might not be able to meet him until the next noon.
“Maybe we oughtta attach kidnapping instructions to the monkey. Rule number one, specify the goddamn rendezvous place!”
“Don’t use words you head has trouble computing, cockroach,” Sanzo said flicking the ash onto the road. “It’d better be here, so I can brain the moron for getting himself kidnapped.”
The trembling innkeeper was most helpful. Yes, he had seen a boy of that description, accompanied by a demon. They were staying in room 203 and he’d very much appreciate the party disposing of the demon, because he was too terrified to move. He was glad to have most of the staff out for the day, but he’d rather not die, please. He had wife and kids and…
“Shut up,” Sanzo said, stalking up the stairs.
“Ah, apologies. We will do our best,” Hakkai patted the poor man’s shoulder and followed their esteemed leader, along with Gojyo.
Door marked as 203 was wholly unremarkable. “You’d think they’d at least get a card or something. Missing monkeys, retrieve here,” Gojyo said, raising a brow. Then, not wasting a breath, he kicked the door open. It wasn’t locked.
The door wasn’t locked and the room was empty, save for the contents of sleeping monkeys, amount one. No one else.
“He’s just asleep,” Hakkai said, bending over the bed. Goku stirred on the sheets, muttered something and kicked at the covers. His outer clothes were piled on a chair next to the bed and absolutely nothing indicated any kind of fight.
“Man, either the kidnapper sucks at the job, or Goku has a side to him he hadn’t shared yet. If he pulled something like this off, I might even applaud, once I beat him senseless.” Gojyo was not impressed. For a kidnapping this was one hell of an anti-climatic ending.
“Goku couldn’t pull something like this off,” Sanzo said.
“What makes you so sure, baldy?”
In response Sanzo thrust the kidnapper’s note in Gojyo’s face. “Does that look like something monkey brain would write?”
“That is an odd choice of words for him, I’ll grant you that. And the handwriting is entirely too calligraphic.”
“Maybe the monkey ditched us to get laid?” Gojyo suggested, feeling the sudden inspiration brighten his days for the foreseeable future.
“That’s a curious conclusion. How do you figure?” Hakkai asked, moving to open the window. The room was stuffy. Just as he was propping a vase against the glass, the door opened.
There was a moment of silence.
“Mr Zakuro, such a pleasant surprise. I see you’ve found Goku, we were beginning to worry,” Hakkai said eventually, beaming.
Zakuro didn’t move an inch.
“Yeah, thanks. Holy bastard was missing his pet something awful. We were afraid it’d make him cry.”
“What was that, cockroach?”
“Aw, no use pretending it isn’t so.”
“One more word and your head will be a lot emptier than it is now!”
“Let’s not fight.” Hakkai stepped between his vociferous friends.
There was a murmur from the bed and Goku’s eyes fluttered open. He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling, quizzically. “Where’d th’ trees go?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
Zakuro was still at the door, unmoving, even as the three expectant faces turned towards him. None of them looked above his shoulders.
“Ah, hey, Zakuro. What happened to that guy?” Goku asked sitting up awkwardly.
“Yeah, Zakuro. Tell us what happened,” Gojyo said, lighting another cigarette and grinning. This was bound to be good.
Zakuro coughed. “A demon attacked us, using an underhanded, cowardly tactic.”
“Explosives?” Hakkai asked innocently as he could.
“Sleeping powder.”
“Good thing it was a demon and we won’t have to tear you to bits defending the monkey’s honour, right?” Gojyo tapped his cigarette against an ashtray, holding back the smirk when everyone turned to look at him, with expressions varying from surprise, through cluelessness, to anger.
“What?”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous, your highness?”
“Die, dimwit.”
“You know, this trend keeps up and yours might be only cherry around.”
“We have cherries?” Goku sat up straight, turning hopeful eyes at Gojyo.
“Some of us.” Gojyo leered in Sanzo’s direction.
“Can I have some?”
“Not for long, you can’t.”
“How come we have cherries and I don’t get any?” Goku’s face was a picture of hurt.
“That’s arguable,” Gojyo said, grinning. He chanced a glance at Zakuro’s face, considering the shade of red his neck was turning. He suspected it meant he had no presence of mind to spin illusions.
“What the hell are you implying!” he screeched, and Gojyo grinned. Yeah, the red was telling alright. There’d be no illusions anytime soon. There’d be plenty of flailing instead.
“Aren’t you hungry, Goku?”
“Yeah!” Goku threw the covers aside and jumped out of the bed, only to stumble and careen into Hakkai. “Woah. Room spinnin’.”
“The inn seems to have a decent enough restaurant,” Hakkai said helping Goku regain his balance. “It smelled nicely enough.”
“It smells great! Comin’ Zakuro?”
“Uh, no. I’m not hungry,” he replied. Goku paused in the door, turning to look at the demon. Gojyo had to turn back to disguise the smirk. That look usually got Goku everything he wanted out of Sanzo -- the wide-eyed, clueless as to possible opposition look, occasionally accompanied by the lost puppy face. Zakuro to his credit lasted a total of eleven seconds before relenting. “Whatever.”
It was an awkward meal, especially for Zakuro. Sitting there, between Sanzo and Goku, opposite grinning Gojyo, being served by a trembling waitress, still trying to wrap his mind around the day’s events. There was the Goku being knocked out part – that was reasonably clear. There was the getting to the inn part – that was easy. There was the waiting for the Sanzo party to arrive at noon, oh, that part was annoying. Then the whole thing got a little confusing – Goku started stirring, so Zakuro went to fetch a glass of water and when he returned Sanzo was standing in the middle of the room and Gojyo was making insinuating remarks that Zakuro vehemently resented and then-
Then Goku woke up and gave him a look and the word “no” suddenly evaporated from his vocabulary. Zakuro had a bad feeling he’d just been had.
Enough was enough though, he would not be spending time eating civilised dinners with those villains! No enemy would mock him, him, the great illusionist Zakuro!
“I’m done,” Hakkai wiped his mouth with a napkin and pushed away from the table.
“That was yummy!”
“Yeah, they sure have decent cooks this side of the land.” Gojyo stretched and reached for his pack of smokes.
Sanzo grunted his acknowledgement, stubbing out the cigarette. They walked out of the inn, waved goodbye and drove off, leaving Zakuro staring after them in stupefied silence.
“How the hell did this happen? My plan was flawless!” Nevertheless, something had gone wrong. But Zakuro wouldn’t be so easily swayed from the path of victory! He stood up straight and waved a fist at the disappearing jeep. “Just you wait Sanzo, I’ll get the sutra!”
The only answer he got was a distant suggestion of guffawing.
END.
NOON
The ledge was barely wide enough to drive. Hakkai took care to let Hakuryuu do most of the work. There was no denying that when it came to keeping the sentient car on the road, the sentient car was best fit for the job.
“We don’t have much further to go, according to the map,” Hakkai said, measuring the distance with his fingers. “There should be a town, just off this mountain.”
“I’m hungry!”
“Give us something new to think about, wouldja?” Gojyo muttered. He kicked Goku and stretched in the backseat, as much as the retaliation would allow. It was a lovely morning, sunny, warm, and abundant with merry chirping birds.
Then the ground underneath their wheels exploded. The tumble of rocks, sand, a car and four men moved down the slope at a rapid pace, some of the slide stopping at trees, some going onwards, until a more persistent blockade presented itself.
As soon as the dust settled Gojyo got up to his feet and groaned,. “Useless fucker,” he muttered, checking his antennae. The explosion had been half-hearted at best, because he wasn’t even singed. Come to think of it, he didn’t see any fire and, though his nose was nowhere near as good as the monkey’s, he could tell nothing was burning either. The bad news was he’d fallen of a cliff, slid down uncontrollably, and there was no telling where the other guys landed. “Shit,” he muttered lighting a cigarette. “Hakkai’d better be near, with Jeep.”
Hakkai was. No less than half an hour later the car stopped by Gojyo, with a cheerful apology from its driver. An hour later they found Sanzo, sitting calmly under a tree and smoking. “About fucking time.”
“Screw you,” Gojyo told him and stretched in the back. “Let’s go get the monkey, and get out of these woods.”
But Goku was nowhere to be found.
The evening fell, and still there was no sign the monkey was even alive and not buried under millions of tons of rocks and dust. Sanzo was becoming twitchy to Gojyo’s discomfort, but it wasn’t like Gojyo was blameless, what with the teasing and taunting. In the end Hakkai told them both to shut up, which, considering the novelty, worked. They set up camp in a clearing, hoping the fire and the smell of cooking food would lure Goku to them.
“You realise this is pointless, right?” Gojyo told Hakkai, just loud enough to be heard. “If he was within sniffing distance, the cigarette smoke would have drawn him in.”
“Dear me, the insects are so annoying tonight.” Hakkai’s hand shot out, right past Gojyo’s nose. Gojyo landed on the forest floor as Hakkai, not glancing at him, dropped the fly into the grass. “I hope the fire scares them off.”
“You’re one of a kind, man,” Gojyo muttered, getting up. “Whatever, anyway.”
Neither of them touched the food.
The next morning Sanzo opened his eyes and moved for the first time in five hours, when it became light enough to see past the end of his cigarette. He got up and stretched, blowing out smoke as he moved. “Stupid monkey,” he muttered. He kicked Gojyo on his way to the pot, by way of a morning call.
“The fuck you want, dickhead?”
“Shut up, asshole.” Sanzo dropped his almost-finished cigarette and whirled to face Gojyo. “This is all your fucking fault!”
“What the fuck is my fault now, you good-for-nothing holy baldhead! It’s not my fault you lose the monkey if someone so much as sneezes in your direction! Maybe you need a better leash!”
“Sanzo-”
“What did you just call me, you half-witted moron?”
“You heard me, priesty!”
“Sanzo-”
“Why don’t you crawl into a hole and die, I’d have one less problem on my hands!”
“Sanzo!” Hakkai’s voice finally cut through the argument.
“What!”
“Your robes are on fire.”
“Fuck!” Luckily the grass was saturated with dew, so it took less than a few stomps to put the flames out. Which led to the discovery of a singed envelope, on which the fag landed, which had caused the incident. “The hell?” It was addressed to the Sanzo party.
“’I’m willing to trade Son Goku for the Maten Sutra. Meet me in the inn outside the forest at noon,’” Sanzo read dryly. “So the twit got himself kidnapped. Brilliant.”
“Shit, people still do this kind of thing?” Gojyo grabbed the note. It was singed, but the fancy text was as legible as it probably was when it was written.
“Well, it seems to be a fool-proof way of gaining what you desire,” Hakkai said, starting to pack.
“Yeah, right. That never works. Even in the movies it never works. They always get shot.” As soon as the last word left Gojyo’s mouth, he and Hakkai turned simultaneously to look at Sanzo, who was smirking around his cigarette.
Gojyo shrugged and turned around. “Works for me.”
“Splendid resolution all around. I can’t help but wonder though, if he has any idea what he got himself into,” Hakkai said taking hold of the note.
Gojyo snorted. “Like he ever thinks about what he’s doing. Please, monkey only has enough brains to spare for eating and sleeping.”
“I didn’t mean Goku.”
Gojyo paused and considered. Then grinned. “Poor bastard.”
TWELVE HOURS EARLIER
“You been to these woods before?” Goku asked, jumping over a fallen log. He landed on his feet and dove into a roll immediately, to avoid stepping on a terrified hare. The animal disappeared into the dusk before he could straighten.
“Yes, I have,” Zakuro replied irritably, narrowly avoiding a fall. He hadn’t really, but he’d left ingeniously spaced markers. He knew his way. And this time his plan was foolproof. He would get the sutra and nothing would stop him.
“Watcha laughing for?”
“Nothing.”
“Ya think the guys are okay?”
“They should be,” Zakuro admitted gruffly. Goku took falling off a cliff mighty fine; he barely had a scratch on him. Which was all well and good; if Zakuro was going to exchange him for the sutra, he’d need the boy in good condition.
“It’s kinda hard not to be worried, sometimes,” Goku admitted, almost embarrassed by his concern. Zakuro nodded, absentmindedly, and tripped over a root.
“Fuck!”
“You gotta be careful.” Goku offered him a hand.
Zakuro stared.
By the time the darkness fell they’d managed (well, Goku had managed) to locate a wild apple tree and a patch of berries. Not that he was too happy about it.
“Oh, this sucks! I’m hungry! I want some real food.” He was perched on a branch, munching on three apples at the same time. He dropped a few down for Zakuro to catch.
“What did you expect, a sukiyaki tree?”
“I was hopin’.”
But it was still better than nothing. Despite his complaints of the culinary nature, Goku seemed to have little trouble falling asleep on a knobbly root, snoring with every other breath. Zakuro couldn’t find a comfortable spot to sit, let alone sleep. Besides, he needed to keep an eye on his bargaining chip, for a while at least. So that he wouldn’t try anything.
Around midnight Zakuro got up and wandered away from the apple tree under which Goku was snoring the night away. It didn’t seem like anything short of an apocalypse would wake him. This was only too convenient – brilliant as Zakuro was, he couldn’t be in two places at once. He had messages to deliver, not much time, and a vast distance to travel. Goku was aggravatingly attuned to the monk’s presence, which made Zakuro’s life very difficult at the moment.
On top of the distance, there was also the matter of the delivery itself. Dropping the letter in the middle of the Sanzo party’s camp was tedious, but the scoundrels didn’t even stir. “Everything is going according to plan,” Zakuro said aloud, once the distance between him and the party was deemed sufficient. “Now I shall finally acquire the sutra and dispel the dishonour on my name!”
He strutted down the forest path, secure in the knowledge he was once again in his element, and that no one in the world could make his plans go awry. That was roughly the moment he heard the sound of a body hitting a tree at a great speed. He paused and looked around. The sound was coming from the direction of the apple tree.
“Fuck!” Zakuro broke into a run. If his hostage were harmed, there would be hell to pay!
Demons, he concluded quickly upon arriving. A small band of ruffians, out to unravel his brilliant scheme. He should have known. “Why does nothing ever go smoothly!” Zakuro raged, only slightly out of breath. Except, as he realised when he finally paused his raving to take stock of the situation, it did. It was going very smoothly. Goku was just flattening the last of the five demons who’d attacked in his sleep. “You are useful to keep around, boy,” Zakuro said, impressed despite himself. No, pause, rewind. He was not impressed. The boy was an enemy and currently his hostage. Also a bargaining chip.
Goku grinned and scratched his head. “I guess. You okay?”
“Yes-” the rest of his answer was cut of by a dreadful yell. Apparently, there was a demon number six, hiding out in the shadows and waiting for an opportunity. Zakuro swore, but the guy wasn’t even looking at him, but past, as if he didn’t see him. Except he was coming straight at him, with a very sharp knife clutched in his hand.
“Geez, dontcha know when to give up?”
There was a resounding “what the hell” in Zakuro’s brain and on the demon’s face, as the latter desperately tried to find his footing. “Wow, you’re short,” Goku said, relieving the struggling demon of the knife. He was holding him up by the neck, and though he was no giant himself, the guy dangled a good handspan over the ground.
“It seems I owe you another one, lad,” Zakuro said, somehow awkwardly. That had the potential to become really quite complicated when the hostage situation got out of hand.
Goku turned his head and looked at him quizzically. “Huh?”
“Apparently you saved my live again.”
“It’s no big deal.” Zakuro felt like arguing the point – from his perspective it was an immense deal, belittling was not in order – but he didn’t get the chance to.
Out of the corner of his eye Zakuro noticed movement. He’d only had the time to raise his hand and cover his eyes before a cloud of dust exploded in Goku’s face. Goku’s grip loosened and the demon dropped down, while Zakuro made a mental note to inflict his newest hellish illusion on the interfering moron. His plans! They were a-ruined should anything happen to the boy.
Goku lost his balance and took an uncertain step backwards. His feet provided him with no stable ground however, and he started falling, straight into Zakuro’s arms. His eyes were closed.
“Damn it! Don’t you dare die, Goku!”
HALF TWO PM
Jeep wasn’t happy driving less or more than four passengers, that much was obvious. After such a long time on the road, no one could fault him to getting used to a particular distribution of weight.
“So do you reckon this is the inn?” Gojyo asked, stretching in the backseat. Maybe the monkey’s absence had some good points to it.
“According to the innkeeper, it’s the last one around here. Let’s hope that’s the side of forest the kidnapper had in mind.” Hakkai consulted the map again. The forest was nearly perfectly octagonal, with mountains and ravines separating the sides. If this wasn’t the side the kidnapper had in mind, they might not be able to meet him until the next noon.
“Maybe we oughtta attach kidnapping instructions to the monkey. Rule number one, specify the goddamn rendezvous place!”
“Don’t use words you head has trouble computing, cockroach,” Sanzo said flicking the ash onto the road. “It’d better be here, so I can brain the moron for getting himself kidnapped.”
The trembling innkeeper was most helpful. Yes, he had seen a boy of that description, accompanied by a demon. They were staying in room 203 and he’d very much appreciate the party disposing of the demon, because he was too terrified to move. He was glad to have most of the staff out for the day, but he’d rather not die, please. He had wife and kids and…
“Shut up,” Sanzo said, stalking up the stairs.
“Ah, apologies. We will do our best,” Hakkai patted the poor man’s shoulder and followed their esteemed leader, along with Gojyo.
Door marked as 203 was wholly unremarkable. “You’d think they’d at least get a card or something. Missing monkeys, retrieve here,” Gojyo said, raising a brow. Then, not wasting a breath, he kicked the door open. It wasn’t locked.
The door wasn’t locked and the room was empty, save for the contents of sleeping monkeys, amount one. No one else.
“He’s just asleep,” Hakkai said, bending over the bed. Goku stirred on the sheets, muttered something and kicked at the covers. His outer clothes were piled on a chair next to the bed and absolutely nothing indicated any kind of fight.
“Man, either the kidnapper sucks at the job, or Goku has a side to him he hadn’t shared yet. If he pulled something like this off, I might even applaud, once I beat him senseless.” Gojyo was not impressed. For a kidnapping this was one hell of an anti-climatic ending.
“Goku couldn’t pull something like this off,” Sanzo said.
“What makes you so sure, baldy?”
In response Sanzo thrust the kidnapper’s note in Gojyo’s face. “Does that look like something monkey brain would write?”
“That is an odd choice of words for him, I’ll grant you that. And the handwriting is entirely too calligraphic.”
“Maybe the monkey ditched us to get laid?” Gojyo suggested, feeling the sudden inspiration brighten his days for the foreseeable future.
“That’s a curious conclusion. How do you figure?” Hakkai asked, moving to open the window. The room was stuffy. Just as he was propping a vase against the glass, the door opened.
There was a moment of silence.
“Mr Zakuro, such a pleasant surprise. I see you’ve found Goku, we were beginning to worry,” Hakkai said eventually, beaming.
Zakuro didn’t move an inch.
“Yeah, thanks. Holy bastard was missing his pet something awful. We were afraid it’d make him cry.”
“What was that, cockroach?”
“Aw, no use pretending it isn’t so.”
“One more word and your head will be a lot emptier than it is now!”
“Let’s not fight.” Hakkai stepped between his vociferous friends.
There was a murmur from the bed and Goku’s eyes fluttered open. He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling, quizzically. “Where’d th’ trees go?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
Zakuro was still at the door, unmoving, even as the three expectant faces turned towards him. None of them looked above his shoulders.
“Ah, hey, Zakuro. What happened to that guy?” Goku asked sitting up awkwardly.
“Yeah, Zakuro. Tell us what happened,” Gojyo said, lighting another cigarette and grinning. This was bound to be good.
Zakuro coughed. “A demon attacked us, using an underhanded, cowardly tactic.”
“Explosives?” Hakkai asked innocently as he could.
“Sleeping powder.”
“Good thing it was a demon and we won’t have to tear you to bits defending the monkey’s honour, right?” Gojyo tapped his cigarette against an ashtray, holding back the smirk when everyone turned to look at him, with expressions varying from surprise, through cluelessness, to anger.
“What?”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous, your highness?”
“Die, dimwit.”
“You know, this trend keeps up and yours might be only cherry around.”
“We have cherries?” Goku sat up straight, turning hopeful eyes at Gojyo.
“Some of us.” Gojyo leered in Sanzo’s direction.
“Can I have some?”
“Not for long, you can’t.”
“How come we have cherries and I don’t get any?” Goku’s face was a picture of hurt.
“That’s arguable,” Gojyo said, grinning. He chanced a glance at Zakuro’s face, considering the shade of red his neck was turning. He suspected it meant he had no presence of mind to spin illusions.
“What the hell are you implying!” he screeched, and Gojyo grinned. Yeah, the red was telling alright. There’d be no illusions anytime soon. There’d be plenty of flailing instead.
“Aren’t you hungry, Goku?”
“Yeah!” Goku threw the covers aside and jumped out of the bed, only to stumble and careen into Hakkai. “Woah. Room spinnin’.”
“The inn seems to have a decent enough restaurant,” Hakkai said helping Goku regain his balance. “It smelled nicely enough.”
“It smells great! Comin’ Zakuro?”
“Uh, no. I’m not hungry,” he replied. Goku paused in the door, turning to look at the demon. Gojyo had to turn back to disguise the smirk. That look usually got Goku everything he wanted out of Sanzo -- the wide-eyed, clueless as to possible opposition look, occasionally accompanied by the lost puppy face. Zakuro to his credit lasted a total of eleven seconds before relenting. “Whatever.”
It was an awkward meal, especially for Zakuro. Sitting there, between Sanzo and Goku, opposite grinning Gojyo, being served by a trembling waitress, still trying to wrap his mind around the day’s events. There was the Goku being knocked out part – that was reasonably clear. There was the getting to the inn part – that was easy. There was the waiting for the Sanzo party to arrive at noon, oh, that part was annoying. Then the whole thing got a little confusing – Goku started stirring, so Zakuro went to fetch a glass of water and when he returned Sanzo was standing in the middle of the room and Gojyo was making insinuating remarks that Zakuro vehemently resented and then-
Then Goku woke up and gave him a look and the word “no” suddenly evaporated from his vocabulary. Zakuro had a bad feeling he’d just been had.
Enough was enough though, he would not be spending time eating civilised dinners with those villains! No enemy would mock him, him, the great illusionist Zakuro!
“I’m done,” Hakkai wiped his mouth with a napkin and pushed away from the table.
“That was yummy!”
“Yeah, they sure have decent cooks this side of the land.” Gojyo stretched and reached for his pack of smokes.
Sanzo grunted his acknowledgement, stubbing out the cigarette. They walked out of the inn, waved goodbye and drove off, leaving Zakuro staring after them in stupefied silence.
“How the hell did this happen? My plan was flawless!” Nevertheless, something had gone wrong. But Zakuro wouldn’t be so easily swayed from the path of victory! He stood up straight and waved a fist at the disappearing jeep. “Just you wait Sanzo, I’ll get the sutra!”
The only answer he got was a distant suggestion of guffawing.
END.
