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He arrested a thief!
The Sky One "Hogfather" adaptation was quite fun. Not enough Death, but there can never be enough Death, and his face could have been a little more expressive, but hey, the Darth Vader impression was awesome. I was sold as soon as I saw (the tiny, goddamnit!!) bits with Death of Rats. Because they were perfect.
This is me spending too much time with contemplating the awesome potential of Vimes and Vetinari. Wrapped in a neat Gundam Package. :P
No one knew were lord Maxwell really came from. Rumour had it, he’d turned up on the steps of the Assassin’s Guild one day, aged fifteen going on forty eight, and stayed. Very few Guild members remembered how and why exactly that happened. Or that is happened at all, for that matter. No one seemed to notice his presence whilst he was there. There were no records of his attendance or results, save for the discreetly elegant diploma, which pronounced him a first class gentleman. Great many Guild officials were, according to gossip, completely taken aback by the slender young man who’d stepped onto the stage during the final ceremony and accepted the paper.
The Maxwells used to be a prominent family, so much so, in fact, that they occupied a significant percentage of most heraldry books. You could tell they’d been true aristocracy by the way their name had rarely, if ever, appeared in historical records, except for the aforementioned heraldry books. At the moment the reason for their invisibility was that they were no longer there. Duo Maxwell, the Patrician of Ankh Morpork, appeared to be the last of the line. Appeared to be, because before he turned up, the death of lady Helena was considered the fall of the final leaf of the extensive family tree, exactly a century ago.
Commander of the City Watch, (unfortunately) lord Heero Yuy found the whole business of his lordship being unnoticed spectacularly unbelievable. There was nothing about Maxwell that was unnoticeable, starting with the impossible braid and finishing at the eyes. He shuddered. The eyes were a story of their own, one he felt most reluctant to contemplate these days. Whenever he tried, he would invariably end up staring into a glass of universal remedy for all ailments, overactive brain cells in particular.
Commander Yuy was a perfect cop, in general conscience. People marvelled at his ability to set aside his private life and concentrate on the case, and indeed, that was his greatest asset. The reason he was able to set his life aside so completely, was because he didn’t have any.
And there was his lordship, casually resting his chin on his folded hands. “I understand there was some trouble with the Thieves’ Guild.”
“Sir.”
“An official complaint has been filed. Apparently, a member of the Watch, and trust me when I say it took me several readings to fully comprehend the matter, has arrested a thief.”
“Sir.”
“Not just any thief, but the head of the Guild himself. I hear lord G was quite displeased.”
“We are short on funding, sir, the state of our cells leaves something to be desired.”
“You understand I see a substantial problem here. The arresting officer is new in town, I hear.”
“Captain Winner is a fine policeman, sir.”
“Captain Winner.” Heero could see the mental notes take shape in the sharp eyes. “Well, I trust your judgement, Commander. If you’ve made him a captain already, he must be a man of fine qualities.”
“Captain Winner is a respected member of the Royal Ramtop Hiking Police, sir.”
“I see.” Heero felt a growl building up in his throat. Maxwell had a way of staring that unnerved trolls and when a slender man manages to unnerve what is in essence a walking rock merely by looking, it is probably best to keep one’s distance.
“I have explained the matters to Captain Winner personally, sir.”
“Lord G is a respected member of community, Commander.” Because being in a possession of a fortune not all of which was stolen (so the rumours went) counted towards respect, obviously.
Heero made a point of keeping up with the rumours. He had learned, during the course of his more interesting investigations, never to underestimate the observation powers of little old ladies with time on their hands and tongues. Sometimes, the rumours were useful. Sometimes they required much filtering. Like the one about Maxwell being seen in the Guild of Thieves, in his teens.
Listening to gossip, however, was dangerous, at best. He’d heard the testimony of the old clown who’d claimed the Patrician was one of his students, and it didn’t make much sense. Mostly because he tended to stop talking every two sentences to look behind himself with care that indicated he was fully expecting something horrible to be standing there. He wouldn’t continue until he was standing in the corner of the room with his back pressed into the wall as far as it would go, with all the doors bolted shut. That, and he tended to scream hysterically whenever the word “cake” was mentioned.
“Yessir. I’ll make sure the Captain understands that arresting thieves is against the law.” He would have missed the subtle curve of the Patrician’s lips, if he hadn’t happened to look the man in the face just then. He caught himself two seconds later and returned his gaze to the neutral spot above and to the left of the Supreme Ruler’s head.
“Lord G used rather strong language in his complaint,” Maxwell said. He was once again studying the letter on his desk.
“The arrest was not entirely… private.” And trolls were subtle creatures, Heero added mentally. The crowd has gathered five minutes after his lordship was arrested and only dissipated when the rain became to insistent to ignore.
“I’m sorry I missed it.”
Had he been walking, Heero would have tripped. “Sir?”
“I didn’t say anything of interest, commander.” The twinkle in his eyes said something altogether different. “Speaking of which. I didn’t see you at the social gathering yesterday.”
“Duty, sir.” Heero stared at the wall, unblinking.
“I see. I suppose those swords wouldn’t polish themselves, now would they.” Again with the tripping of the standing man. Heero chanced a glance at his superior. Oh gods, that was a mistake. His mouth was now resting against his forefingers, lower lip pushed down ever so slightly. The wall, the wall. Think of the wall.
“Social functions aren’t in my job descriptions, sir.”
“Of course. I imagine the presence of the Commander of the Watch wouldn’t be entirely welcome at a social gathering.”
“Yessir.” Blessed relief. Heero exhaled inaudibly. He hated the pompous bastards that made up the higher classes of the City. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Maxwell watching him, an unreadable smile on his lips. “Is that all, sir?”
“I imagine, however, that the presence of the only heir of his lordship Odin Lowe would be- I daresay the word ‘expected’ covers it quite nicely.”
Damn him to hell.
“Sir.”
Maxwell got up. “Incidentally, I have an invitation for you right here.” He was holding a posh-looking piece of paper. “Tonight Lady Peacecraft is holding a ball. I expect to see you there.”
Curses. Heero took the invitation and held it up as if was a particularly interesting species of a poisonous centipede. He looked inside.
“Sir.”
“Is there a problem?”
“No problem, sir.” A brief pause. “My name doesn’t appear to be written in Lady Peacecraft’s handwriting, sir.”
“A lady of her standing would undoubtedly hire a scribe to do the writing for her,” Maxwell replied, watching Heero carefully.
“Should I look into possible forgery, sir?” he asked, examining the pink card.
“If you deem it necessary, by all means. Please do make sure to stop by the post office, I’d like to have a word with Master Chang. An extraordinary amount of letters seem to be lost en route to your office.”
Touché.
Outside the door, Captain Winner was waiting anxiously. “How did it go?” he asked, but Heero just stormed past him, fitting the helmet on his head. Damn the bastard, damn him to hell. Less than two months of Patricianing and Maxwell knew most of his tricks.
He had a feeling policing under his thumb will be … interesting.
This is me spending too much time with contemplating the awesome potential of Vimes and Vetinari. Wrapped in a neat Gundam Package. :P
No one knew were lord Maxwell really came from. Rumour had it, he’d turned up on the steps of the Assassin’s Guild one day, aged fifteen going on forty eight, and stayed. Very few Guild members remembered how and why exactly that happened. Or that is happened at all, for that matter. No one seemed to notice his presence whilst he was there. There were no records of his attendance or results, save for the discreetly elegant diploma, which pronounced him a first class gentleman. Great many Guild officials were, according to gossip, completely taken aback by the slender young man who’d stepped onto the stage during the final ceremony and accepted the paper.
The Maxwells used to be a prominent family, so much so, in fact, that they occupied a significant percentage of most heraldry books. You could tell they’d been true aristocracy by the way their name had rarely, if ever, appeared in historical records, except for the aforementioned heraldry books. At the moment the reason for their invisibility was that they were no longer there. Duo Maxwell, the Patrician of Ankh Morpork, appeared to be the last of the line. Appeared to be, because before he turned up, the death of lady Helena was considered the fall of the final leaf of the extensive family tree, exactly a century ago.
Commander of the City Watch, (unfortunately) lord Heero Yuy found the whole business of his lordship being unnoticed spectacularly unbelievable. There was nothing about Maxwell that was unnoticeable, starting with the impossible braid and finishing at the eyes. He shuddered. The eyes were a story of their own, one he felt most reluctant to contemplate these days. Whenever he tried, he would invariably end up staring into a glass of universal remedy for all ailments, overactive brain cells in particular.
Commander Yuy was a perfect cop, in general conscience. People marvelled at his ability to set aside his private life and concentrate on the case, and indeed, that was his greatest asset. The reason he was able to set his life aside so completely, was because he didn’t have any.
And there was his lordship, casually resting his chin on his folded hands. “I understand there was some trouble with the Thieves’ Guild.”
“Sir.”
“An official complaint has been filed. Apparently, a member of the Watch, and trust me when I say it took me several readings to fully comprehend the matter, has arrested a thief.”
“Sir.”
“Not just any thief, but the head of the Guild himself. I hear lord G was quite displeased.”
“We are short on funding, sir, the state of our cells leaves something to be desired.”
“You understand I see a substantial problem here. The arresting officer is new in town, I hear.”
“Captain Winner is a fine policeman, sir.”
“Captain Winner.” Heero could see the mental notes take shape in the sharp eyes. “Well, I trust your judgement, Commander. If you’ve made him a captain already, he must be a man of fine qualities.”
“Captain Winner is a respected member of the Royal Ramtop Hiking Police, sir.”
“I see.” Heero felt a growl building up in his throat. Maxwell had a way of staring that unnerved trolls and when a slender man manages to unnerve what is in essence a walking rock merely by looking, it is probably best to keep one’s distance.
“I have explained the matters to Captain Winner personally, sir.”
“Lord G is a respected member of community, Commander.” Because being in a possession of a fortune not all of which was stolen (so the rumours went) counted towards respect, obviously.
Heero made a point of keeping up with the rumours. He had learned, during the course of his more interesting investigations, never to underestimate the observation powers of little old ladies with time on their hands and tongues. Sometimes, the rumours were useful. Sometimes they required much filtering. Like the one about Maxwell being seen in the Guild of Thieves, in his teens.
Listening to gossip, however, was dangerous, at best. He’d heard the testimony of the old clown who’d claimed the Patrician was one of his students, and it didn’t make much sense. Mostly because he tended to stop talking every two sentences to look behind himself with care that indicated he was fully expecting something horrible to be standing there. He wouldn’t continue until he was standing in the corner of the room with his back pressed into the wall as far as it would go, with all the doors bolted shut. That, and he tended to scream hysterically whenever the word “cake” was mentioned.
“Yessir. I’ll make sure the Captain understands that arresting thieves is against the law.” He would have missed the subtle curve of the Patrician’s lips, if he hadn’t happened to look the man in the face just then. He caught himself two seconds later and returned his gaze to the neutral spot above and to the left of the Supreme Ruler’s head.
“Lord G used rather strong language in his complaint,” Maxwell said. He was once again studying the letter on his desk.
“The arrest was not entirely… private.” And trolls were subtle creatures, Heero added mentally. The crowd has gathered five minutes after his lordship was arrested and only dissipated when the rain became to insistent to ignore.
“I’m sorry I missed it.”
Had he been walking, Heero would have tripped. “Sir?”
“I didn’t say anything of interest, commander.” The twinkle in his eyes said something altogether different. “Speaking of which. I didn’t see you at the social gathering yesterday.”
“Duty, sir.” Heero stared at the wall, unblinking.
“I see. I suppose those swords wouldn’t polish themselves, now would they.” Again with the tripping of the standing man. Heero chanced a glance at his superior. Oh gods, that was a mistake. His mouth was now resting against his forefingers, lower lip pushed down ever so slightly. The wall, the wall. Think of the wall.
“Social functions aren’t in my job descriptions, sir.”
“Of course. I imagine the presence of the Commander of the Watch wouldn’t be entirely welcome at a social gathering.”
“Yessir.” Blessed relief. Heero exhaled inaudibly. He hated the pompous bastards that made up the higher classes of the City. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Maxwell watching him, an unreadable smile on his lips. “Is that all, sir?”
“I imagine, however, that the presence of the only heir of his lordship Odin Lowe would be- I daresay the word ‘expected’ covers it quite nicely.”
Damn him to hell.
“Sir.”
Maxwell got up. “Incidentally, I have an invitation for you right here.” He was holding a posh-looking piece of paper. “Tonight Lady Peacecraft is holding a ball. I expect to see you there.”
Curses. Heero took the invitation and held it up as if was a particularly interesting species of a poisonous centipede. He looked inside.
“Sir.”
“Is there a problem?”
“No problem, sir.” A brief pause. “My name doesn’t appear to be written in Lady Peacecraft’s handwriting, sir.”
“A lady of her standing would undoubtedly hire a scribe to do the writing for her,” Maxwell replied, watching Heero carefully.
“Should I look into possible forgery, sir?” he asked, examining the pink card.
“If you deem it necessary, by all means. Please do make sure to stop by the post office, I’d like to have a word with Master Chang. An extraordinary amount of letters seem to be lost en route to your office.”
Touché.
Outside the door, Captain Winner was waiting anxiously. “How did it go?” he asked, but Heero just stormed past him, fitting the helmet on his head. Damn the bastard, damn him to hell. Less than two months of Patricianing and Maxwell knew most of his tricks.
He had a feeling policing under his thumb will be … interesting.
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I *like* this! I *really* like this! Actually, I *love* it.
So, this is the first part, right? ^^
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Thank you! *glomps*
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But you're really making me curious now... :)
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Too late. Let me tell you this: you want to start DW. You do. And, if you don't want to get into series (although technically all the books can be considered stand-alones) I recommend you start with either Small Gods or Monstrous Regiment, since these two are the best in my opinion, of the "one-shots" (Vimes, the guy Heero's playing, actually appears in MR, but only briefly). Well, MR is, quite possibly, the best DW novel, even if it is quite a bit darker than the rest.
Then there are the series. x.X If you liked this *points up* you should love all the Watch books (Vimes, Vimes, and Vimes again! Oh, and Vetinari too). There are also the witches (Lords and Ladies is my fav), and Death/Susan books (Thief of Time!)...
I warned you. x_____________X
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I think I'm going to have to wander over to Amazon tomorrow...
*headdesk*
^^
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I also have another spin on Discworld crossovers, though it takes place in the GW-verse. Duo is the descendant of Susan in this one - it's called Sun Will Rise (http://keire-ke.livejournal.com/tag/sun+will+rise).
Aaaaand, on the subject of self-promotion: I also wrote a V/V drabble (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2760698/1/).
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Those Patricians sure can be persistent, can't they? *nudges Ventinari!Duo*
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I swear I'm working on it too^______^ Patricians are awesome.
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Oh, and I gave Long Dark Night a try. o_o Mrf. Mrrrrrrrf. [paws at stuff] Though it would've been even better if it was set in a sort-of AU where Vimes isn't married to Sybil, 'cuz I'm a total OTP-er like that and so firmly believe that IF THEY'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER, THEY BETTER BE COMPLETELY TOGETHER, DAMMIT! @_@ [...] Ahem. T'was still good, though, so spanks for the link! <3
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There's one more fic with the exact same premise, only in reverse: Aftermath (http://discfanfic.tripod.com/vimeslady/aftermath01.htm). I know what you mean about Sybil though. Damn, I like the woman, and I like her with Vimes. But Vetinari needs to get laid. Seriously.
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I like Sybil, but not especially so, while Vetinari and Vimes are without a doubt my two favorites from the series. So while I like her as his wife in the books well enough (don't read those for the romance anyway, right? AND I'm only an OTP-er when it comes to slash X3;), if I'm gonna read Discworld fanfiction s'gotta be Vetinari/Vimes. u_u [firm nod]
More V/V goodness? *_* [pounces on teh link]
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queer as cupcakesmanipulative bastards.I know exactly what you mean, to quote Morpheus. Though I've gotta say, I read DW for romance. :D No one does romance like TP.
Searching for V/V reminds me why I ship the most popular/almost canon pairings. Cause the others get no love, damnit!
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I admit I didn't think about what to do with Quatre yet - this partlet was pretty random. But, it does make sense to have him be a giant. *solemn nod*
Your two most favourite fandoms? Do you have any Discworld recs of the Vimes/Vetinari nature?