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We visited dad's old school friend, who moved to the US twelve years ago and is now visiting with his wife and kids. It's funny, but when I was in the UK a couple of people told me I have an American accent, and now they told me it was British. I guess I have to camp in the middle of the Atlantic then?
This is, I think, the second to last chapter. And it's more of an interlude, so you can skip it. But I don't think you want to, cause this is the good part. Sort of. *grins*
Midnight was a memory by now and Kouryuu still didn’t sleep. He sat at the table in the dining hall, poring over the journal and assorted literature. This shit was dangerous and far from his usual range of expertise. Not beyond his abilities, though. It just meant he needed to put his weight into it. That was why he was sitting here, in the dark, compiling the knowledge he had about the spell and how it could be reversed, all the while thinking of the things he would have like to do to Nii before he’d killed him. Of course, at the time he wasn’t thinking straight, so it was pretty satisfying just to eviscerate the man, but…
Finally he lighted a cigarette and stared out the dark window. The smoke curled in the air before him. Kouryuu took a deep drag and closed his eyes. His life was a string of colossal fuck ups, but this at least he knew how to do right.
Something made him look up, even though there was no noise, nothing to alert him. Yet Goku, his Goku, was there, standing at the bottom of the stairs when he wasn’t before. He was still wearing the dark, long-sleeved shirt, even though the state of his hair suggested he’d been sleeping.
Kouryuu didn’t say a word. He wouldn’t be able to if he tried, his throat felt so tight. In the midnight moonlight Goku looked so pale and fragile…
He was coming closer. Kouryuu still made no move, on the verge of holding his breath as Goku walked towards him. He didn’t hesitate, not once. Stupid monkey.
“Sanzo,” he whispered when he was standing by the table. Kouryuu shivered. Of course he knew what he’d been missing all this time. He was not stupid- Well, alright he could be real stupid. But he managed, at last, to force himself past denial so he knew what he was missing. It was hell. He got by. By no means was it pleasant, or desirable or even living, but he managed.
Hearing Goku now though, even if he was saying the name Kouryuu’d almost forgotten, was downright breathtaking. He reached out, grabbed Goku’s shirt and pulled him closer. His hands knew better than he did what he wanted. They slid underneath the soft cotton, finding the warm skin beneath. There wasn’t enough light to see properly, but Kouryuu knew what he would find. He’d been dreaming about it every night for the past five years. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the blemished skin covering Goku’s tummy. The last time he’d done this he’d had to remove miles of bandages and the scars had still been raw wounds. He remembered Goku’s whimper when he’d touched his mouth to the scorched skin.
There was nothing of that sort now. The scar was just that, thickened, pale tissue, a distant memory of the wound. Kouryuu felt Goku’s fingers slide into his hair and stay, pressing into his scalp lightly. He in turn traced a line along the edge of the scar with his tongue – the pattern the scar formed was still perfectly discernible. Whatever it stood for, for Kouryuu it always looked like a crude drawing of the sun.
Kouryuu closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Goku. His scent was addictive, like fresh grass and earth after a summer rainfall. He’d never understood why no one pounced on the monkey given the least chance. Then again, he knew a good reason why no one should. That one time he had succumbed had ruined him for life, not that there was much to ruin in the first place. It hadn’t been a bright idea, he knew that now, and he’d known that then. He’d just been desperate. Nii’d made him watch everything he’d done to Goku, so when it occurred to him later that it wouldn’t have happened if Goku wasn’t his, well, it seemed like a good idea to disappear. Goku had been so doped up at the time he didn’t stir when Sanzo left before dawn, leaving his gun as a farewell gift.
That hadn’t been such a good idea either.
The first summer rain after returning to China had probably been the worst. He’d thought he might die right there, as he’d stood in the open window. It hadn’t been like having Goku again, not even close, but it had definitely been more than he could handle. That damned smell had been all around him, so that there was no choice but to breathe it. There was a long battle he’d fought with himself then, knowing full well that standing there all night and remembering Goku wouldn’t be good for his sanity, but since when did he care about that?
Kouryuu looked up and he was looking into the impossibly golden eyes. “Goku,” he said reaching up to tangle his fingers in the long hair on Goku’s nape and using them to pull him down, to his lips.
There really was no comparison. The last time he tasted Goku his mouth was dry and parched, struggling for breath and water, and still it was the taste he’d been craving ever since. Now his brain was melting. Literally. Goku tasted like everything warm and sunny in the world, with a subtle hint of peppermint toothpaste and Kouryuu just knew that he was utterly lost now. If he was to realise he would never taste Goku again, the knowledge would kill him. Actually kill him, even if he couldn’t bring himself to actively spill his own blood.
He would have been content, for now anyway, to just sit in the middle of the dark dining hall in an inn at the end of the world, and kiss the monkey. Slow and languid sounded like a really good plan for the foreseeable future. Since Kouryuu could only plan for the next five or so minutes, it was good with him. Not so for the monkey.
“Why do I have to do all the work here,” Goku griped and forced Kouryuu’s head back. Slow and languid took a bow and exited, stage right. Goku managed, somehow, to find support for his knees on the plain chair Kouryuu was occupying, and wrap his arms around his neck.
“You wish, monkey,” Kouryuu managed and stood up. Fuck, he was getting old. Good thing the monkey wasn’t all that heavy.
There was a slight pause so that they both could catch their balance, and then Goku grinned. The moonlight shone in his eyes and glinted on his teeth. Kouryuu had to focus if he planned on getting them both upstairs in one piece. Having Goku’s legs wrapped around his hips didn’t help at all.
“You’re still a motherfucking moron, just so you know,” Goku said conversationally when they reached the top of the stairs.
“Shut up,” Kouryuu told him and pushed the door of his room open. He dropped Goku on the bed and locked the door behind him. He barely had the time to turn before he was tripped and had his wrists pinned to the bed.
“Hot damn, that actually required work. I miss being stronger than a newborn kitten, you know,” Goku said against Kouryuu’s mouth. “Hina even was a problem, the first few months and she was so tiny.”
“Goku…”
“I don’t need you. I know that now, know for sure,” Goku whispered in Kouryuu’s ear. “I don’t want, or need, you to promise me nothing.” Kouryuu swallowed hard – Goku’s lips brushed his skin with every move, his compact body moved against his own in a most distracting manner. “But if I wake up and you’re not here, I’ll track your ass down and slam your bloody stupid head into the wall a couple times.”
Kouryuu didn’t reply. He could neither find the words, nor content. But he understood what was being said and, oh yes he did. I love you, Goku was saying. I want you. And it was more than enough.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kouryuu asked instead, telling himself he was irritated when Goku started undoing the buttons on his shirt and jeans.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Ain’t. It’s my turn anyway.”
“Over my dead body!”
“It would make things easier, if unpleasant.” Goku was a hair’s breadth away from laughing out loud. Kouryuu tried to glare, but even he knew it was pointless. For one thing, Goku was immune. For another, he knew perfectly well he’d lost that battle before it even began. It didn’t mean he would just give in to the monkey, of course. Token resistance was necessary, even if rolling off of the bed and landing on the floor was generally not in his plans for the evening. Then Goku started kissing him again and well. At that point he would have agreed to dancing naked on the hood of the jeep, so long as the kissing didn’t ever stop.
He was, however, prepared to make allowances for sex.
Later, when Goku fell asleep, Kouryuu experienced a moment – a curiously unending moment, which was a complete novelty for him – of complete satiation. He treaded his fingers through the wild hair on top of Goku’s head and let them slide down onto his neck.
“I do,” he said. His voice was barely audible in the quiet darkness of the room. He turned so that his face was hidden in Goku’s hair and slept.
This is, I think, the second to last chapter. And it's more of an interlude, so you can skip it. But I don't think you want to, cause this is the good part. Sort of. *grins*
Midnight was a memory by now and Kouryuu still didn’t sleep. He sat at the table in the dining hall, poring over the journal and assorted literature. This shit was dangerous and far from his usual range of expertise. Not beyond his abilities, though. It just meant he needed to put his weight into it. That was why he was sitting here, in the dark, compiling the knowledge he had about the spell and how it could be reversed, all the while thinking of the things he would have like to do to Nii before he’d killed him. Of course, at the time he wasn’t thinking straight, so it was pretty satisfying just to eviscerate the man, but…
Finally he lighted a cigarette and stared out the dark window. The smoke curled in the air before him. Kouryuu took a deep drag and closed his eyes. His life was a string of colossal fuck ups, but this at least he knew how to do right.
Something made him look up, even though there was no noise, nothing to alert him. Yet Goku, his Goku, was there, standing at the bottom of the stairs when he wasn’t before. He was still wearing the dark, long-sleeved shirt, even though the state of his hair suggested he’d been sleeping.
Kouryuu didn’t say a word. He wouldn’t be able to if he tried, his throat felt so tight. In the midnight moonlight Goku looked so pale and fragile…
He was coming closer. Kouryuu still made no move, on the verge of holding his breath as Goku walked towards him. He didn’t hesitate, not once. Stupid monkey.
“Sanzo,” he whispered when he was standing by the table. Kouryuu shivered. Of course he knew what he’d been missing all this time. He was not stupid- Well, alright he could be real stupid. But he managed, at last, to force himself past denial so he knew what he was missing. It was hell. He got by. By no means was it pleasant, or desirable or even living, but he managed.
Hearing Goku now though, even if he was saying the name Kouryuu’d almost forgotten, was downright breathtaking. He reached out, grabbed Goku’s shirt and pulled him closer. His hands knew better than he did what he wanted. They slid underneath the soft cotton, finding the warm skin beneath. There wasn’t enough light to see properly, but Kouryuu knew what he would find. He’d been dreaming about it every night for the past five years. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the blemished skin covering Goku’s tummy. The last time he’d done this he’d had to remove miles of bandages and the scars had still been raw wounds. He remembered Goku’s whimper when he’d touched his mouth to the scorched skin.
There was nothing of that sort now. The scar was just that, thickened, pale tissue, a distant memory of the wound. Kouryuu felt Goku’s fingers slide into his hair and stay, pressing into his scalp lightly. He in turn traced a line along the edge of the scar with his tongue – the pattern the scar formed was still perfectly discernible. Whatever it stood for, for Kouryuu it always looked like a crude drawing of the sun.
Kouryuu closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Goku. His scent was addictive, like fresh grass and earth after a summer rainfall. He’d never understood why no one pounced on the monkey given the least chance. Then again, he knew a good reason why no one should. That one time he had succumbed had ruined him for life, not that there was much to ruin in the first place. It hadn’t been a bright idea, he knew that now, and he’d known that then. He’d just been desperate. Nii’d made him watch everything he’d done to Goku, so when it occurred to him later that it wouldn’t have happened if Goku wasn’t his, well, it seemed like a good idea to disappear. Goku had been so doped up at the time he didn’t stir when Sanzo left before dawn, leaving his gun as a farewell gift.
That hadn’t been such a good idea either.
The first summer rain after returning to China had probably been the worst. He’d thought he might die right there, as he’d stood in the open window. It hadn’t been like having Goku again, not even close, but it had definitely been more than he could handle. That damned smell had been all around him, so that there was no choice but to breathe it. There was a long battle he’d fought with himself then, knowing full well that standing there all night and remembering Goku wouldn’t be good for his sanity, but since when did he care about that?
Kouryuu looked up and he was looking into the impossibly golden eyes. “Goku,” he said reaching up to tangle his fingers in the long hair on Goku’s nape and using them to pull him down, to his lips.
There really was no comparison. The last time he tasted Goku his mouth was dry and parched, struggling for breath and water, and still it was the taste he’d been craving ever since. Now his brain was melting. Literally. Goku tasted like everything warm and sunny in the world, with a subtle hint of peppermint toothpaste and Kouryuu just knew that he was utterly lost now. If he was to realise he would never taste Goku again, the knowledge would kill him. Actually kill him, even if he couldn’t bring himself to actively spill his own blood.
He would have been content, for now anyway, to just sit in the middle of the dark dining hall in an inn at the end of the world, and kiss the monkey. Slow and languid sounded like a really good plan for the foreseeable future. Since Kouryuu could only plan for the next five or so minutes, it was good with him. Not so for the monkey.
“Why do I have to do all the work here,” Goku griped and forced Kouryuu’s head back. Slow and languid took a bow and exited, stage right. Goku managed, somehow, to find support for his knees on the plain chair Kouryuu was occupying, and wrap his arms around his neck.
“You wish, monkey,” Kouryuu managed and stood up. Fuck, he was getting old. Good thing the monkey wasn’t all that heavy.
There was a slight pause so that they both could catch their balance, and then Goku grinned. The moonlight shone in his eyes and glinted on his teeth. Kouryuu had to focus if he planned on getting them both upstairs in one piece. Having Goku’s legs wrapped around his hips didn’t help at all.
“You’re still a motherfucking moron, just so you know,” Goku said conversationally when they reached the top of the stairs.
“Shut up,” Kouryuu told him and pushed the door of his room open. He dropped Goku on the bed and locked the door behind him. He barely had the time to turn before he was tripped and had his wrists pinned to the bed.
“Hot damn, that actually required work. I miss being stronger than a newborn kitten, you know,” Goku said against Kouryuu’s mouth. “Hina even was a problem, the first few months and she was so tiny.”
“Goku…”
“I don’t need you. I know that now, know for sure,” Goku whispered in Kouryuu’s ear. “I don’t want, or need, you to promise me nothing.” Kouryuu swallowed hard – Goku’s lips brushed his skin with every move, his compact body moved against his own in a most distracting manner. “But if I wake up and you’re not here, I’ll track your ass down and slam your bloody stupid head into the wall a couple times.”
Kouryuu didn’t reply. He could neither find the words, nor content. But he understood what was being said and, oh yes he did. I love you, Goku was saying. I want you. And it was more than enough.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kouryuu asked instead, telling himself he was irritated when Goku started undoing the buttons on his shirt and jeans.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Ain’t. It’s my turn anyway.”
“Over my dead body!”
“It would make things easier, if unpleasant.” Goku was a hair’s breadth away from laughing out loud. Kouryuu tried to glare, but even he knew it was pointless. For one thing, Goku was immune. For another, he knew perfectly well he’d lost that battle before it even began. It didn’t mean he would just give in to the monkey, of course. Token resistance was necessary, even if rolling off of the bed and landing on the floor was generally not in his plans for the evening. Then Goku started kissing him again and well. At that point he would have agreed to dancing naked on the hood of the jeep, so long as the kissing didn’t ever stop.
He was, however, prepared to make allowances for sex.
Later, when Goku fell asleep, Kouryuu experienced a moment – a curiously unending moment, which was a complete novelty for him – of complete satiation. He treaded his fingers through the wild hair on top of Goku’s head and let them slide down onto his neck.
“I do,” he said. His voice was barely audible in the quiet darkness of the room. He turned so that his face was hidden in Goku’s hair and slept.
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Date: 2007-09-16 09:39 pm (UTC)“But if I wake up and you’re not here, I’ll track your ass down and slam your bloody stupid head into the wall a couple times.”
I think he speaks for all of us.
Aw... I like this chapter. They're very... open with each other in that way they have.
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Date: 2007-09-16 09:51 pm (UTC)Thanks! I was worried, because it is very emo and not something I felt comfortable writing. o.O They had time to stew over everything they are and they had. I guess even Sanzo could understand.
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Date: 2007-09-16 09:56 pm (UTC)It turned out very well.
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Date: 2007-09-16 09:58 pm (UTC)die Die DIEThank you. ^_____^
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Date: 2007-09-17 12:41 am (UTC)i always knew that goku was capable - of life without sanzo
except that the events here are rather on the extreme.
i suspect there are many thoughts on how nii should die.
because everyone agrees he should. very amoral man.
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Date: 2007-09-17 09:50 am (UTC)Minekura says he's her favourite character, so you never know. Like I told Silver, by the time Sanzo gets to fighting Nii he will have so many reasons to hate him a simple bullet won't do. Look at what happened to Kami-sama.
So, didja like it?
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Date: 2007-09-17 12:54 pm (UTC)I still like the idea of Koryuu succumbing and giving his surrender. You know secretly he loved every second of it. ^___~ The exchange between them was strangely sweet and endearing, in their own particular way.
And I agree with what you told Gen-chan. I think Goku's probably the most emotionally capable of them, and I think he could handle a life without Sanzo. He'd just have to be given the chance. Then he'd grow up and be so utterly irresistible that Sanzo would have no choice but to come look for him. ^___~
I loved it! <3 <3 Much love for teh Keiran-chan!
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Date: 2007-09-17 01:35 pm (UTC)Ah, you know Kouryuu. If there is no guilt to atone for, something is wrong with the world. He definitely loved every minute though! I like your idea of endearing. "You motherfucking moron, you" "Aww, you say the sweetest things." XD
Heck, he is irresistible now, a couple more years and Sanzo will be pouncing on him every other turn
the flaming queer that his royal highness is!Thank you!! *huggishness*
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Date: 2007-09-17 06:29 pm (UTC)Well, I can see Koryuu acting the same way Sanzo did in the actual manga when he took off after Vol 7. (I don't want to spoil what happened if you don't want me to) It's all about him feeling things that he's not fully prepared to handle, and he thinks running would be the better alternative. Of course, we know he's stupid for this, but we love him anyway. ^____~
Goku knows what Sanzo's really trying to say when he says those things. It's that easy-going nature of his, you know?
Definitely. He'll be making grabby hands for Goku every chance he gets that he thinks no one else is looking. XD We'll be looking, Sanzo. We'll be looking.
You holy poof.You're welcome! *glomps of love*
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Date: 2007-09-17 06:45 pm (UTC)I know he took off, spoiled myself quite thoroughly. He does tend to run from his problems, but it's not what I tried to say here. Sanzo in the manga left because, as far as I know, he couldn't handle his own attachment to Goku. Kouryuu here *points up* left because he thought that he was the reason Nii hurt Goku and was therefore protecting the monkey. He is a moron, but hey. As you said, we love him.
Goku learned to tune out Sanzo's voice and watch the body language. :P
Holy poof. *snerk* He is!
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Date: 2007-09-18 01:36 pm (UTC)And I might do just that. ^____~ We'll see.
Oh, okay. That makes more sense for this story, actually. Sanzo/Koryuu has some really screwy ways of thinking. But, at the same time, I guess I can understand how he would think that way. He's working with what he's got. XDD
Definitely! Seven years together and you think Goku wouldn't learn that? Heh. He's a smart, crafty little monkey.
I totally borrowed that from you, dear. ^_____^ I couldn't resist. Such a fitting description of Sanzo. I mean, he's blond, pretty, and he wears a dress. That's kind of poofy to me.
And I'll be online for a bit tonight! <3 <3 I can't wait to glomp you! Hopefully I'll have some of the story I was talking about to send you.
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Date: 2007-09-18 01:45 pm (UTC)I told Silver a while ago, the whole mess is Sanzo trying to do something right for once. Since he never actually tried to do something right, he screwed it up and it blew up in his face, big time.
He is a smart little monkey, definitely. *nods*
Holy poof he is. I've always been of the opinion that if anyone is gay gay it's Sanzo. The rest of them are "well, this is new/I'm not queer/there's a word for it?* It just so happens that my love interest is a guy".
Yay! ^______^
* delete whichever is necessary.
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Date: 2007-09-19 12:05 am (UTC)Ah, that whole reverse psychology thing. Good thing he finally realized that it was actually the wrong thing to do. Of course, it only too him forever and a half. *shakes her head and mutters*
Totally! Gojyo rationalizes it as Hakkai is special but that doesn't mean he's gay, Hakkai figures it can't be as bad as doing your sister, and Goku just kind of shrugs and accepts it. Sanzo's the flamer if there ever was one. XDD
About the online thing...I had mass amounts of research to do, so I had to turn off my messengers. XD If I didn't, I wouldn't have done my homework. I'll definitely be on Thursday, though! <3
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Date: 2007-09-20 12:03 pm (UTC)He can be horribly silly, seriously. I'm sure Goku will point out the flaws in his thinking. They are together now, and Goku will ensure they stay that way.
My thoughts exactly. *nods* Poor Sanzo. XD
It's cool, I know how insistent school can be. I should be on tonight, so we'll talk then!
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Date: 2010-03-24 06:35 am (UTC)Who's Hina's
fathermother? >_>I love how you write Goku as a strong, mentally and psychologically, individual :D