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Jan. 5th, 2004 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keire_keHere is yet another of my English assignments. The topic was 'write something amusing'.
Have you ever wondered how to blow up a solid stone wall by transporting a torch to another location through a pouring rain, under constant firing, when your enemies are standing on said wall, about ten meters above your eye level? There are three possible approaches you can choose from.
Approach number 1. You hold the torch behind your back and move stealthily through the crowd. The flames should be covered, at least a little, to dim the easily noticeable light. You get to the front line, close enough to thrust the torch into the bay with gunpowder.
Approach number 2. You tap the shoulder of whoever stands before you and pass him the torch. Less noticeable. More possible targets, so you are much safer. The guy who ends up with the torch throws it into the bomb.
Approach number 3. You tap the shoulder of whoever stands before you and tell him to pass on that you’ll be running soon, and therefore need space. Wait for the field to clear. Run like hell, waving the torch high above your head. Screaming ‘Here I come, suckers!’ on top of your lungs gives you bonus points. When you are close enough, you jump into the hole.
Now that the ways to perform are discussed, we should move to possible outcomes.
Outcome number 1. Nobody notices you, you manage to blow the idiots up.
Outcome number 2. Nobody notices you, the wall gets blown up.
Outcome number 3. You get repeatedly shot, then you go down with the blow.
Possible drawbacks. The guy who is shooting at you in point 3, might have bad aim. Following the Murphy’s Law, out of three shots, three arrows will end up in your chest. All three of them missing everything vital.
However, if you chose option 1 or 2 there is a possibility that your boss won’t be pleased about the lack of suicidal devotion, but the odds are that he will be more concerned about loosing his nail polish, so you are quite safe.
Have you ever wondered how to blow up a solid stone wall by transporting a torch to another location through a pouring rain, under constant firing, when your enemies are standing on said wall, about ten meters above your eye level? There are three possible approaches you can choose from.
Approach number 1. You hold the torch behind your back and move stealthily through the crowd. The flames should be covered, at least a little, to dim the easily noticeable light. You get to the front line, close enough to thrust the torch into the bay with gunpowder.
Approach number 2. You tap the shoulder of whoever stands before you and pass him the torch. Less noticeable. More possible targets, so you are much safer. The guy who ends up with the torch throws it into the bomb.
Approach number 3. You tap the shoulder of whoever stands before you and tell him to pass on that you’ll be running soon, and therefore need space. Wait for the field to clear. Run like hell, waving the torch high above your head. Screaming ‘Here I come, suckers!’ on top of your lungs gives you bonus points. When you are close enough, you jump into the hole.
Now that the ways to perform are discussed, we should move to possible outcomes.
Outcome number 1. Nobody notices you, you manage to blow the idiots up.
Outcome number 2. Nobody notices you, the wall gets blown up.
Outcome number 3. You get repeatedly shot, then you go down with the blow.
Possible drawbacks. The guy who is shooting at you in point 3, might have bad aim. Following the Murphy’s Law, out of three shots, three arrows will end up in your chest. All three of them missing everything vital.
However, if you chose option 1 or 2 there is a possibility that your boss won’t be pleased about the lack of suicidal devotion, but the odds are that he will be more concerned about loosing his nail polish, so you are quite safe.
