Three days.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 11:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keire_keSomething's wrong with LJ today. Does anyone else have trouble with the rich text, or is it just me?
*coughs* My mind is sooo one-track. But I really like the colouring!
I really should do my reading... But of course, me being me, I ignore it until the last possible moment. *sulks* My own fault really, but I can't help but be annoyed by it. This is mainly why today, instead of reading Bartholemew Fair I'm catching up on religious jokes.
Unlike today, my weekend was rather busy, even if on Saturday I got up at 1 pm. First I went off with a flatmate(?) and watched Gladiator, the extended edition (OMG, the execution. Commodus is one of the top ten Most Disturbed Characters Ever). Then the whole lot of us went to a fair, which's been around for the weekend. We had candy floss (which baffled me, cause I could swear it's called cotton candy), caught a few rides and watched the fireworks (PRETTYYYYYYYY!!!!). Arcade, with these really old (as in, from the 30s) machines, was very amusing.
Now on Sunday, I went to this place I did placement in. I enjoy it, the boss is a great guy, and connections are important these days. So I said I will be there at 10 am. Me being me, I stayed up until 2 am on Saturday, doing nothing really. So I roll out of bed at 8 am, dress, brush my teeth, have something to eat, then decide that since I have several minutes left, I might as well check my email.
Turns out boss send me an email at 5 am, asking me to come in at midday, cause he was up all night and needs to get some sleep. *headdesk* When I came in, he proceeded to reorganise his tiny, cramped office space, into a tiny, cramped, totally inaccessible office space.
Random thought of the day: It seems to be universal standard for uni laundretts to have tumble dryers that only dry the clothes somewhat. Laudry sucks.
Random thought II: the new pope continues to leave me unimpressed.
edit:
This is probably the right place to mention that I was most amused upon discovering that the Uni graciously provided me with a Bible. *wicked grin* Haven't they heard of BibleGateway?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
The next Sunday, he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon when he got nervous, he took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
Sip the vodka; don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey; he did not "bet his ass."
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior, and the spook.
David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit outta him.
When David was hit by a stone and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
We don't refer to the cross as the "Big T."
When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the cherry."
The recommended grace before a meal is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God."
The following statements are said to have been written by
actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine,
authentic and not retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling
has been left in):
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a
Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the
apple.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his
son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived
in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang
the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they
found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to
others before they do one to you.
He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed
to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12
decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called
monotony.
*coughs* My mind is sooo one-track. But I really like the colouring!
I really should do my reading... But of course, me being me, I ignore it until the last possible moment. *sulks* My own fault really, but I can't help but be annoyed by it. This is mainly why today, instead of reading Bartholemew Fair I'm catching up on religious jokes.
Unlike today, my weekend was rather busy, even if on Saturday I got up at 1 pm. First I went off with a flatmate(?) and watched Gladiator, the extended edition (OMG, the execution. Commodus is one of the top ten Most Disturbed Characters Ever). Then the whole lot of us went to a fair, which's been around for the weekend. We had candy floss (which baffled me, cause I could swear it's called cotton candy), caught a few rides and watched the fireworks (PRETTYYYYYYYY!!!!). Arcade, with these really old (as in, from the 30s) machines, was very amusing.
Now on Sunday, I went to this place I did placement in. I enjoy it, the boss is a great guy, and connections are important these days. So I said I will be there at 10 am. Me being me, I stayed up until 2 am on Saturday, doing nothing really. So I roll out of bed at 8 am, dress, brush my teeth, have something to eat, then decide that since I have several minutes left, I might as well check my email.
Turns out boss send me an email at 5 am, asking me to come in at midday, cause he was up all night and needs to get some sleep. *headdesk* When I came in, he proceeded to reorganise his tiny, cramped office space, into a tiny, cramped, totally inaccessible office space.
Random thought of the day: It seems to be universal standard for uni laundretts to have tumble dryers that only dry the clothes somewhat. Laudry sucks.
Random thought II: the new pope continues to leave me unimpressed.
edit:
This is probably the right place to mention that I was most amused upon discovering that the Uni graciously provided me with a Bible. *wicked grin* Haven't they heard of BibleGateway?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
The next Sunday, he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon when he got nervous, he took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
Sip the vodka; don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey; he did not "bet his ass."
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior, and the spook.
David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit outta him.
When David was hit by a stone and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
We don't refer to the cross as the "Big T."
When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the cherry."
The recommended grace before a meal is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God."
The following statements are said to have been written by
actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine,
authentic and not retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling
has been left in):
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a
Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the
apple.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his
son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived
in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang
the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they
found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to
others before they do one to you.
He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed
to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12
decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called
monotony.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-03 11:10 pm (UTC)Now that should say something.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-03 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:20 am (UTC)On the other hand, the word 'napkin' comes to mind.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:34 am (UTC)You know, I can write lemons and not get this red. *smacks self*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:38 am (UTC)Well, this could be a good prop for either a lemon fic, or an uber-angsty-get-together-with-a-lemon fic. *waggles eyebrows*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:43 am (UTC)*blinks* Um, you're the Saiyuki writer! *waggles eyebrows back*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:51 am (UTC)Um... *points to the big 'sorry, we don't serve LEMONS in here' sign overhead*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 12:55 am (UTC)*sigh* Well, I suck at writing them. Who can we throw a plot bunny at? *looks around*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 01:00 am (UTC)Throw, stick and tie, for good measure. *wide grin*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 07:58 am (UTC)And i love your pic *Yay*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 08:58 am (UTC)*beams* Sankyou!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 08:00 am (UTC)~*Regina*~
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 09:02 am (UTC)