Saiyuki // Its Own Place 2/2
Feb. 14th, 2007 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keire_keAuthor: Keiran
Title: Its Own Place 2/2
Rating: 13+
Genre: drama.
Pairings: Sanzo/Goku
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. The following is strictly for entertainment purposes.
Notes: I have no patience. x____X Anyway - enjoy! I had a fantastic time writing this story (yay for pwning monkeys!), I sincerely hope it shows. ^____^
Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
solanum_d, for the spectacular beta-job!
The next morning greeted them very early on, with sunlight and singing birds. Sanzo scowled at everything that moved, which for the moment included only Gojyo and Hakkai. Not in the best of moods they made their way downstairs, to see about breakfast. None really felt like eating, but they couldn’t afford to lose health at the moment.
Sanzo was stomping downstairs in a manner that was most unbecoming of a priest. Luckily, he had the sense to forego his traditional robes for the day, opting for a more casual garb, so his stomping seemed less out of place and more just plain rude.
They made their way downstairs without incident. It was on the final landing that Gojyo spoiled the otherwise conflictless morning by walking into Sanzo.
“What the fuck?” he muttered, rubbing his nose, partly because it did hurt and partly in surprise that no one was yelling yet. Then he raised his head and suddenly the reason for the sudden pause was painfully obvious. Goku was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring out the window with a faraway expression on his face. The sunlight streamed through the glass, turning his spiky brown hair into an array of golden strands, his coronet reflecting the warm light like a beacon. He virtually shone in the early morning light.
Sanzo couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“Goku!” He blinked suddenly and looked away from the window. The waitress from yesterday was standing several paces away, her hands on her hips. “Hello, work?” she said seriously, though her mouth was curving in an amused little smile. “You can daydream later.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to,” he answered. He pushed away from the wall and looked up, only now noticing the audience. “Hello. Do you need anything?”
“We were hoping for some breakfast,” Hakkai said, sidestepping Sanzo, who apparently did not plan on moving anytime soon. Goku grinned easily.
“Sure. Find yourselves a table, I’ll be with you in a minute.” He waved at them vaguely and followed the waitress into the dining hall.
Almost compulsively, the three men turned to look at the window that Goku found so fascinating. Nothing particularly interesting there, except for a spectacular view of the sun and a small pond. The only thing to truly look at, was the play of the light on the reflective surfaces the pond and various bits of metal offered.
“He’s remembering, you think?” Gojyo asked no one in particular.
“Didn’t look like he remembered us, in any case,” Hakkai replied. Goku’s fascination with light was a very Goku thing, he always thought, Sanzo the Sun aside. Sanzo just grunted and walked to the first available table.
“What can I get you?” Goku appeared not a minute later with a pad in his hands. Gojyo bit down the instinctive ‘anything you won’t eat on the way from the kitchen’ – insulting the waiter never paid off.
“Just a regular breakfast for three, thank you,” Hakkai said smiling. Once again, he was left to do the honours.
“Right on.” Goku slipped the pad into the apron pocket and disappeared into the kitchen. The regular breakfast for three was greeted with a pointed lack of enthusiasm, but plenty of dutiful chewing. They didn’t talk much, or at all. Since no other guest of the inn seemed bothered with getting breakfast, the meal passed in heavy silence.
Sanzo finished his share faster than both Gojyo and Hakkai, simply by refusing to take another bite. He spent the next five or so minutes staring at his plate, with a sour expression on his face.
The moment Hakkai set his chopsticks down, Goku materialised by their table.
“Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you.” Hakkai smiled politely. Goku smiled at him brightly and heaped the empty dishes onto his tray. Every so often his eyes would dart in Sanzo’s direction, but Sanzo was pointedly looking the other way. Gojyo muttered something, and Hakkai managed to hide his amusement behind a napkin – apparently not even memory loss could quell Goku’s attraction to the surly monk.
“I’m going to get cigarettes,” Sanzo said, standing up. Gojyo raised a brow but did not comment on the half-full pack stuck casually in the back pocket of Sanzo’s jeans.
“I’m going too,” he said instead.
“I’ll meet you upstairs then,” Hakkai said.
Finding the smokes proved to be quite a challenge, this early in the day. Finally, after almost half an hour of wandering around, a shop owner took pity on the two of them and agreed to sell them their fix now instead of two hours later.
Gojyo’s mood lifted considerably, as he took a first drag. Sanzo, on the other hand, automatically lit a cigarette, inhaled twice, and promptly forgot he was smoking. The kappa thought his hairline just might start receding, what with the constant raising of the brows, when Sanzo’s cigarette dropped to the ground. He knew for a fact it barely touched his lips.
The monk was well on his way to becoming pitiful. Gods, how he wished for a camera.
Their return to the inn passed unnoticed – no one was at the desk, nor in the dinning hall. Still, Gojyo could swear he could hear the monkey, being loud as usual.
“Maiyu, damn it. Keep still already!” Definitely Goku’s voice. Gojyo stopped and peered into the staff room carefully. Sanzo, for all his dignity, followed suit. Goku was holding a pair of scissors in his hand, glaring playfully at the waitress they’d seen earlier, calling him back to work.
“You’re waving sharp scissors in front of my face! I’m not exactly comfortable,” she replied, a definite pout in her voice. Her long hair was down. Gojyo, while hardly the expert at female hairdos, had seen enough of them at various stages of being done, so he easily recognised the heaviness of natural curls intensified by the constant presence of a braid.
“You asked for it.”
“I asked you to cut my hair, not to scare me half to death!”
“I wouldn’t, if you’d just sit still!”
“Alright, I’m still.” There was a brief pause and then the scissors snapped once. Then again. And once more. Soon the snapping was constant, a sharp contract to the barely audible sound of severed hair falling to the floor. Aside from that, the room was completely silent, with the easy, confident silence that stems from people simply enjoying each other’s presence.
Gojyo made an effort not to throw a scathing comment at Sanzo. The priest’s body was tense as he watched the proceedings, his fist clenched by his sides and twitching, a sign Gojyo easily recognised as ‘itching to grab the gun and fire a round or five’. Personally, he thought it was a cute sight, for an impartial observer. Of course, he was hardly impartial himself.
Before long, Goku stepped away from the chair, cocking his head to the side as if admiring his work. “There,” he said, putting the scissors away. Maiyu stood up and shook her head. She then picked a mirror and inspected her new hairdo.
“Well, you’re lucky you work at an inn and not a hairdresser’s.”
“I told you I’m no good at this!” Goku said defensively. Maiyu giggled. “I don’t think I’ve ever cut anyone’s hair.”
“How would you know, with the amnesia and everything.” Goku had a way of blinking in confusion that made the slight motion very obvious to anyone who was around at the time. Deep down Gojyo found it absolutely adorable, but he knew there was not enough sex, money or pain in the world to make him admit it.
“The what?”
“Amnesia. Means memory loss,” Maiyu said. Her voice had gone a lot quieter suddenly.
“Oh. Well, I dunno. Just got the feeling.” Goku shrugged, as if losing one’s memory was a fact of life that everyone had to deal with. Sometimes, Gojyo truly envied the monkey. How he could take something as big as a lack of memory in stride, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Still, he’d had practice, not that he remembered it, obviously.
“Well, you’re certainly no expert,” Maiyu said, using the small mirror to get as good a look as possible at the wild strands framing her face. “I really like it.” Even from their vantage point, Sanzo and Gojyo could tell Goku smiled at her words.
“You look cute,” he offered collecting the hair from the floor.
“Oh, I promised you food already, you don’t need to flatter me.” She busied herself with swiping the rest into the bin.
“I could always get more,” Goku said grinning. Maiyu laughed and punched his shoulder playfully. Together they left the room. In the silence that followed their departure, the gritting of teeth was loud as a gunshot.
“He looks good,” Gojyo said. His fingers automatically delved into the cigarette pack. “I mean,” he continued, correctly assuming Sanzo had no intention of acknowledging him, “Damn. He’s no kid anymore.”
“And that’s so fucking relevant now, because?”
“It speaks. Whaddya know? Not relevant at all. Just – I mean it’s kinda hard not to grow up, living as we do. Still feels weird to be seeing him on his own, like this.”
“He’s been like this, as you put it, for a long while now.” Now this was a comment to turn Gojyo’s head.
“Shit, you know that sounded like you were actually looking!” His whole being fell into the familiar pattern of teasing the high and mighty monk, except something was not quite right with the picture. He furrowed his brows. “You were looking,” he said eventually. And fuck, wasn’t that a revelation! “You were what, waiting for him to grow up enough for you?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Fuck, you’re more retarded than I thought!” Sanzo’s eyes flashed dangerously, as he gripped Gojyo’s shirt by the lapels.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“I’m saying, you’re a fucking dumbass, if you’re waiting for whatever it is you’re waiting for, and not just telling the kid you want him.”
“Fuck. Off.”
“Granted, I’ve never bothered to find out which way he swings, mainly because I strongly suspect he swings both and neither, but I hardly think it matters, in your case. Especially in your case.” A pause. “What with you being all pretty and stuff.”
“Shut up.”
“Of course, there’s the whole issue of you being a rather lousy boyfriend material.” By the slightest of twitches to ever grace Sanzo’s face, Gojyo knew he’d hit the proverbial nail on the head. “But the thing is, your holiness, he knows that. You’ve been living together for most of the time he remembers, he knows what an absolute bastard you are. Frankly, I’d have hightailed it out of your esteemed company a long time ago, but he still puts up with your shit. So there you go.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” And strike me down, Gojyo thought, if Sanzo wasn’t actually completely lost and confused about the issue. That was an actual, genuine question! In Sanzo-speak, that is.
“It’s supposed to mean that – for reasons I personally find completely fucking unreasonable – he thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Or he thought, since now he is a lot more objective.”
“Fuck you.”
“Likewise, asshole.” They were silent all the way back to their room.
It was shaping up to be a very long day. Long, dull and completely bereft of ideas. The high point came around midday, when Sanzo, who slipped into a vegetative state ever since his earlier conversation with Gojyo, got up and went to the bathroom. Aside from that, they remained inside the room, barely acknowledging one another’s presence.
They only moved in the early evening, when Hakkai decided, in his reasonable voice, no less, that they needed to eat something, all of them. Sanzo, without saying a word, got up, and left the room. Gojyo gave a Hakkai a half-amused look, but followed the monk without protest. Sanzo was apparently adamant about not setting a foot in the inn’s dining hall, so out they went, to look for another establishment. Judging by Sanzo’s countenance, it would be an establishment that served hard liquor in large quantities.
The business of the streets took them by surprise.
“Why’s the damn place so crowded? There’s maybe ten people total in the whole shit-hole, where did all those people come from?” Gojyo asked, staring in disbelief at the crowds milling across the streets.
“It’s a festival of some sorts.” Hakkai explained.
“Thank you, oh wise one. I’m sure that is a conclusion I wouldn’t have reached on my own.”
“I’m happy I offered assistance then.”
“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” And shut up they did. If Sanzo was telling Hakkai to shut up, his mood was even worse than usual. Not that they had to guess just why was he in a particularly foul mood – the whole situation warranted a substantial amount of irritation – but the reason for this bout of anger was just passing them by, paying absolutely no attention whatsoever to their existence.
Goku was walking down the street, grinning like the average village fair was the best thing that’d ever happened to him. Maiyu was walking beside him, smiling and lovely, her wispy hairdo floating around her face like a small, fluffy cloud, and Gojyo’s womanising habits got the best of him.
“She is really pretty,” he said and winced. Now he was in for it, if Hakkai’s charming smile and Sanzo’s murderous expressions were anything to go by. “What? She is!”
“She doesn’t seem to be a day older than eighteen, Gojyo.”
“She is still very pretty. She’d look even better if she got herself shorter skirts.” Maiyu seemed to be quite content with her calf-length dresses, with flowing skirts and fitted tops, content in the knowledge that it went well with her willowy figure. And go well it did, Gojyo knew. Totally not his cup of girl, but he could admire the view all the same.
Except not this time he couldn’t, because Sanzo was growling and hitting him with that damned fan of his – which was rather mild, considering his mood. Why wasn’t he shooting yet? Gojyo ran the events of the past few days through his mind and suddenly he knew.
“Where is your gun?” he asked, and there was a grin hovering just behind his red eyes, ready to break his face in half. It never did, because Sanzo stilled, as suddenly as he’d whipped the fan out in the first place, and stared at him like he’d grown a second head. Then he whirled in place and stalked off, barely noticeable in the crowd in his black shirt and jeans.
“He didn’t go to get it back,” Hakkai said, almost in wonder. He tried to think back to any time he’d seen Sanzo without his gun and came up empty-handed.
“Can you blame the asshole? Goku was fucking scary, I wouldn’t want to talk to him either. Kinda like I don’t really want to be standing here, talking to you, cause well. You could give lessons in scary.” Hakkai raised a brow and smiled, just a little. But that was fine, that was a genuine smile of amusement. Gojyo was suddenly struck by the frightening realisation what would it be like, not to see that smile ever again.
It was a prospect too frightening to even consider.
“I see your point. Let’s go find Sanzo.”
They caught up to Sanzo ten minutes later. He was leaning against the back of a stall, hidden from the lampions’ light, watching the crowd go on around him. More specifically, watching Goku laughing and joking, watching Goku have an absolutely wonderful time.
It was hard to tell in a crowd, but there seemed to be a group of people, not just Maiyu, tugging the monkey around. They (and it was a pretty loose definitions of ‘they’ – it could have been a group of two as well as ten) crowded around a stand filled with fancy sweets. Quite predictably, considering Goku’s bottomless pit of a stomach, that they’d be located around edibles, but it was surprising they settled for sweets rather than actual food. For all his cravings, and he had them worse than any pregnant woman, Goku generally opted for filling rather than junk. Hakkai guessed it was a leftover from his stay in the cave, the constant need to have his tummy full. Which, now that he considered it, explained why he was comfortably working in an inn, and indulged in candy rather than meatbuns. If he didn’t remember the cave, perhaps the compulsion to eat wasn’t as strong.
Maiyu was saying something and Goku looked at her in surprise, but then he was nodding and grinning at the lady who managed the stall. Not a minute later the lady was handing him a portion of cotton candy, way too big for a normal person, but probably just a snack for Goku. Except he was not eating the fluffy treat, he was staring at it in something vaguely resembling confusion. He turned his head and said something to Maiyu, and they could see her eyes go wide, right before she burst out laughing. Goku’s mouth curled in a pout that was a little too adorable to be a genuine sign of offence.
Maiyu was still grinning, and Sanzo gained a look that was positively murderous, when she plucked a small patch of the cotton with her fingertips and waved it vaguely in Goku’s face. He looked at the piece of fluff, beamed, and snatched it from her fingers with his mouth. Maiyu jumped back, surprised, and their little group exploded in merry laughter. Sanzo gritted his teeth, pushed away from the wall and disappeared between the stalls.
Hakkai and Gojyo did not hesitate long before following. They found Sanzo in their room, sitting utterly and completely still, staring at the wall. He said nothing when they pulled out a chair each and sat at the table.
“We’re leaving. First thing tomorrow,” Sanzo said after a few minutes, never pausing in his perusal of the paintwork.
“Without Goku?” Hakkai asked, his voice coloured with disbelief.
“We can do it without the dumb monkey. We’ve wasted enough time as it is. It’s a mission, not a fucking road trip.”
“Screw the mission!” Gojyo jumped to his feet, nearly overturning the table on his way. “Screw the gods, screw the fucking Shangri-La! We can’t leave without the monkey!”
“And why the hell not?!”
“Did you look in the mirror this morning? You look like a fucking corpse! You haven’t slept in days, you’re barely eating, man, you’ve almost stopped smoking. One more week and I’ll be putting the fucking gun to your head, out of pity!” He leaned towards the priest.
“I don’t need him!” Sanzo screamed in Gojyo’s face, his hands twisting in the man’s shirt. Gojyo grinned humourlessly. His hands gripped Sanzo’s wrists forcing them away from his throat. He then leaned forward, until they were again nose to nose.
“Nice bluff,” he said quietly. “But I call.”
“Fuck you.” Sanzo picked the pack of cigarettes from the table and stormed out.
“That wasn’t smart, you know,” Hakkai said.
“Fuck the hypocrite. Sure, we can do it without the monkey, it’d be tough as hell but we can manage. Except that we can’t really, cause his holiness will take the first opportunity to get a set of claws through his stomach. And frankly, I can’t quite imagine ‘the Sanzo party’ without the asshole.”
“Sanzo doesn’t seem to be the suicidal type.”
“Like he has to be. Hakkai, he looks like shit, and that’s with the monkey prancing about. Can you imagine what would happen if we actually left? Running him over repeatedly with the jeep would be doing him a favour.”
“That would be a little too extreme, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you’re right. He’d be too weak from not eating or sleeping by the time we muster enough pity to put him out of his misery. Once would be plenty.”
“Gojyo.”
“Oh, please. The guy is wasting away, moping after his monkey. And while I solemnly swear to tease him about it later, first we must make sure there will be a later.”
“I hate to imagine what Sanzo would do to you, if he ever heard you saying that.”
“What? He is moping. Thank heavens it’s not raining, or he would be making use of his bullet stash by now.”
All the energy Sanzo put in storming out of the room deserted him as soon as he was out the door. At a much slower pace he made his way downstairs and found the most secluded table the inn had to offer, not that it mattered much – most people were out anyway, enjoying the carnival. He threw the cigarettes down and sat down heavily.
“Wine,” he ordered sharply when a waitress approached. The girl – not Maiyu, he noted, only half pleased, as he definitely would have put a bullet through her brain, by hand if need be – took a good look at him and nodded, clutching a tray to her chest and disappearing as soon as possible. Within minutes she was handing him a glass and a bottle.
Sanzo virtually gulped the first glass down. Visibly calmer, he proceeded to refill and continue getting drunk at a steady pace, periodically calling the waitress and asking for more. He didn’t bother to keep track of time. It wasn’t like he cared, anyway. The alcohol numbed his soul pleasantly, leaving him the way he preferred to be – uncaring and unemotional. Not bothered in the slightest about the idiotic monkey who had no memory of him. He didn’t need the little idiot, with his constant yammering for food. He didn’t need to spend his days listening to him chatter excitedly about his fight with Kougaji, meatbuns, or whatever crossed his tiny monkey brain. He didn’t need the cretin looking at him with that shine in his eyes, the one reserved especially for him. He neither needed nor wanted to have the monkey beam up at him like he was the fucking sun. In fact, the bloody journey would be a lot easier without him. They might run into some tough monsters, but fuck them, they could learn to deal. He could always sic Hakkai on any arising problems. They weren’t likely to come across many things scarier than Hakkai.
The point was, he didn’t need the monkey. Not one fucking bit.
“Sir? We closing for the night.” Sanzo raised his head and made an effort to focus. Goku’s wide eyes were fixed on him. Focusing was almost a two-man job.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
“Suit yourself.” Goku shrugged and set to work. Sanzo’s attention, had it been on anything else, would have immediately riveted onto Goku. Domestic chores weren’t really something his charge had time or will to master. At the temple the monks took care of everything, and on the road there wasn’t much to do, on a daily basis. All the more fascinating, to watch Goku methodically wipe down the tables, stack the chairs on them and swipe the floor like he never did anything else in his life. He wasn’t wearing the work uniform, Sanzo noted, but the clothes he wore at the fair earlier. Not surprising really. He’d probably just came back for a short while to close up.
“Stop staring at me.” Sanzo started.
“What?”
“Stop staring at me. It’s distracting.” Goku was looking at him now, a strange expression on his face.
“Ch’. Serves you right.” Goku’s eyes narrowed.
“What exactly is your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Right. You normally get drunk all alone in the middle of the night and stare at people like some demented creep.” Sanzo refused to reply. He averted his eyes and stared at the wall instead. When he dared to turn his head again, he found Goku standing right next to his table, an expectant expression on his face. “I’m sorry, but I really need to clean up.” Sanzo made an effort and got up without hinting on an alcohol-induced stupor. He might be losing the drinking games to Hakkai on a regular basis, but he could still drink most people under the table. “Thanks.” Goku nodded in his direction.
Sanzo was barely aware he was capable of feeling at all, let alone feeling like a kicked puppy. As he stood in the scarcely lit dining hall, however, watching Goku pay him no attention whatsoever, he suddenly realised that gods truly loathed him, with a passion worthy of a better cause.
Sanzo would later blame alcohol and whatever was in it (he knew it had to be spiked. His head was too strong to submit to mere spirits) for taking control of his body, if only because he knew he would have never done it himself. It wasn’t him, it could not have been him, who reached out and tangled his hand in Goku’s thick hair.
“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” It must have been the alcohol, because Sanzo would never reach out for anyone, let alone the dumb monkey. He might have occasionally shoved people against the wall, but his intentions were always radically violent. He would have never voluntarily touched anyone with anything even remotely resembling tenderness, nor would he ever run his hands down anyone’s face. Sanzo would have never, of this he was quite sure, kissed anyone, certainly not with frantic, desperate urgency.
“You’re mine,” he would never have said to anything sentient.
It must have been a truly bizarre, alcohol-induced dream he was having, because he knew there was no way he’d ever hold on to Goku like he was a lifeline. Not unless he was dangling off a cliff with no other means of support. There was no way he’d ever press his thumbs against Goku’s jaw, tilting his head back, so that he could reach his lips more easily. He could hardly imagine ever doing so. Worse yet, he could hardly imagine ever not doing so.
“I don’t belong to anyone.” Sanzo heard the words dimly, much more concerned with the hands tearing him away from Goku’s warm mouth. “It’s flattering, but you’re absolutely hopeless at seducing people. Just so you know.” They stared at one another for a few moments. Then Goku quite simply finished stacking the chairs on the table Sanzo was using, picked up the rag and the broom and left. “Don’t touch me again,” he added, halfway out the door. “Or I swear I will beat you up.”
Sanzo leaned against the wall heavily, staring at the empty doorway. His hand pressed itself to his mouth entirely on its own, following the pattern established not a minute before. Trying to wrap his mind around what’d just happened proved to be too much of a strain for his brain, however. His body’s motor functions shut down briefly, and Sanzo slid to the floor, his back against the wall.
“Fuck.”
xxx.XXX.xxx
Sanzo was tapping his fingers against the table. Considering his usual preference for unnerving people by not moving a muscle unless it was to utilise some of the nourishing and/or addictive substances, it wasn’t a good sign. They could hear the laughter from across the room and it was making all three of them uncomfortable. The staff of the inn was having a great time, polishing glasses and preparing the bar for the day, as inane as the idea seemed to an outsider. Goku was laughing and his voice carried all the way to the table the dejected remains of Sanzo party was occupying. It was a good, hearty laugh, one that signalled not mere amusement, but actual joy. Normally it would be enough to brighten all of their moods, on their respective scales, but right now it only served to make all three of them feel even more depressed.
“We’re leaving,” Sanzo said quietly. It was the third time this morning he’d said the words, but this time there was an empty note of finality in his voice. He stood up heavily, collected his cigarette pack and turned his back to the bar. He got as far as the edge of the table, Gojyo and Hakkai reluctantly following, when the sound of breaking glass reached his ears.
“Goku!”
“Shit…” Goku moaned, clutching at his head. He was suddenly on the floor, kneeling over a couple of broken glasses, drawing deep, shuddering breaths. Luckily, the attack was not long-lasting – almost as soon as it arrived, it was already past. Maiyu squatted next to Goku, pulling his hands away from his head. He looked up slowly, staring into her concerned face.
“Goku?” she asked. “Are you alright?” He ducked his head, away from her gaze.
“Yeah. I’m good.” He looked to the side, as if looking for something. His eyes fell on Sanzo eventually. The monk stood frozen on the spot, his mouth clamping on the words of prayers he would never allow himself to utter. He felt Goku’s gaze travel over him until it reached his eyes, and when it finally did-
His fingers tightened on the table edge convulsively. The luminosity was back. Goku’s eyes were golden again, as they stared up at him. Sanzo felt his whole body relax. For a few moments he thought his legs just might give and he’d end up sprawled all over the floor. For once, however, the kappa proved himself useful and clutched his arm.
“Don’t touch me,” Sanzo said. It was intended as a growl, but ended up as nothing more than a weak suggestion.
“Looks like I won’t get to run you over. Damn. I was looking forward to watching you squirm under Jeep’s tyres.” Sanzo muttered something and Gojyo could almost laugh. It spoke volumes about Sanzo’s state of mind that he could actually hear the clumsy ‘thank you’.
On the other side of the room, Goku stood up a little awkwardly, pressing the heel of his palm against his eye.
“Shit,” he said.
“Goku?” He glanced at the Maiyu’s anxious expression and tried to say something, but seemed to find himself at loss for words. He brought his hand up, brushed a strand of hair away from her face and tried to say something again, but didn’t.
Giving up on talking, he walked over to Sanzo and, without looking up, muttered several words that Hakkai couldn’t quite hear. Without waiting for a reaction, he turned around and walked away, disappearing into the kitchen. Maiyu cast a questioning look in their direction and followed, now more agitated than ever.
“Sanzo?” Hakkai asked, exchanging puzzled glances with the rest of the inn’s staff and Gojyo. “What did he say?”
“He wants us to stay until tomorrow morning,” Gojyo replied, as coherent speech seemed to be out of Sanzo’s immediate abilities. “Beats me why he’d want to.” Privately, Hakkai thought he had a good idea, but he refrained from voicing it. Everything seemed to resolve itself on its own, no use looking a gift horse in the mouth.
They only talked with Goku briefly that day, when he brought them dinner. Actually, it wasn’t much of a talk, since Sanzo was still not entirely back and therefore silent as a grave. All Goku said was that he’d be waiting at dawn outside of the inn, ready to go. A vague nod was apparently all the confirmation he needed, because the next moment he was striding through the inn and out of sight again.
“What’s his deal anyway?” Gojyo asked, lighting his first dinner cigarette.
“He’s been living here for half a year, Gojyo, or have you forgotten? I suspect he must quit his job, say goodbye to his friends, that sort of thing.”
“Ah, right. Forgot about that.” He hadn’t bothered saying goodbye when they set out on the journey. It wasn’t like anyone would miss him anyway and his job… Most of the suckers he played for money would probably be grateful to see him gone, if only for a while. But Goku, here… Damn. It wasn’t like he knew the whole town, not even close, but he did seem pretty cosy with the staff of the inn.
Gojyo decided to desert that track of thought, before it fried his brain.
In the end, the three of them spent most of the day holed up in their tiny room. Like the past few days, it was very quiet, but this was a good, comfortable silence, of the ‘we won, again’ variety.
Abiding by the rules of contrast, the following morning was rather awkward, only partly because of the ridiculousness of the hour. Goku was waiting for them, just as he promised: out front, his bag at his feet. But the expression on his face was wistful.
“Took you long enough,” he said by way of greeting.
“Ah, Sanzo needed his beauty sleep. He didn’t get much the past week, and he wanted to look extra pretty for you today,” Gojyo proclaimed, his arms spreading theatrically. Goku snorted. “Beats me, why he’d go all out for a monkey like you, but there you go. His royal holiness, in all his glory. Allow me to bring out the fanfares.”
“I kinda missed being called a monkey all the time. I’m starting to think there’s something seriously wrong with me,” Goku muttered, watching Sanzo stride by him and into the jeep without a second glance. The first was rather long and poignant, so it was probably enough to settle any lingering doubts. Goku threw his bag into the back and sighed.
“Goku.” The name was spoken so quietly, it was barely there. Goku heard it, nevertheless. Almost reluctantly, he turned around.
“Maiyu.”
“I made you some snacks,” she said, holding out a wrapped box, big enough that she had to carry it with both of her hands. “For- for the way.” She made no move to approach the jeep, so Goku took the neatly package from her lax hands and deposited it in the car carefully. Gojyo raised his brows, but was largely ignored. Hakkai shot a look at all three of his companions in turn, but received no answer. Sanzo ignored the world in general and stared ahead.
“Thank you.” She stared at him, for a few seconds. Then, without warning, she flung her arms around his neck and hid her face against Goku’s collar. He in turn wrapped his arms around her waist, clutching her as tightly as she was holding him. “Maiyu…”
“Don’t go. Please don’t leave,” she whispered, moving her hands into his hair and tilting his head just so. “Don’t…” she whispered, pressing her mouth against his, “Go.” Goku’s arms tightened around her waist bringing them closer still, and they were kissing, like the world around them stopped spinning. Sanzo, even though he did not turn his head once ever since Maiyu appeared, clenched his eyes tightly.
Sometimes Hakkai wanted to ask just how deep the bond he shared with Goku went, because Sanzo seemed to always be aware not only where Goku was, but, even though Hakkai knew he was speculating wildly, what he was feeling too. He never did ask, mostly because he knew Sanzo wouldn’t answer, or at least wouldn’t answer truthfully. That was strictly between the two of them, he eventually surmised. A fitting vocal equivalent of the thread at their fingertips, he’d thought once, amused at finding the perfect metaphor and also not a little jealous. His own was more visual than he’d care to admit.
Gojyo made a show of slicking his hair away from his face, mostly to force himself to look away. He followed the gazes of Hakkai and Sanzo, but it was too late to not see. A part of him found itself envious of the monkey. Here he was, not even a damn year of living in the village and he had a good life going for him, a life that could pass as normal, by general standards. He had friends, he had a job which wasn’t maybe the pinnacle of human achievement, but it was a good solid job. He even had a girl, for fuck’s sake, if the display behind his back was any indication. And that hurt, though he hated to admit it. It hurt, because he was leaving all of that to get back to the – admittedly, quite exciting – journey; one filled with close calls, near misses, violence and probably a lot of pain and a possible death in the end. And then there was the constant verbal and physical abuse. He understood that Goku wasn’t actually being abused; it wasn’t like anything could make a victim out of the monkey, he could wipe the floor with either of them, for crying out loud, but his day-to-day life wasn’t exactly peaches and cream. Because there were plenty of things that said “I love you” better than a whiz of a bullet around the head. Things like kissing, for instance. Or homemade lunches, which, to be fair, Hakkai made an effort to provide as often as he could.
“You won’t be back, will you?” Maiyu said quietly, and although she phrased it like a question it had the irrevocability of a statement. Goku smiled and shook his head.
“No,” he said, his voice even more quiet than hers, but equally final.
“You’re a bastard, do you know that?”
“Yeah, well. Considering my role models…” She laughed, a choked little laugh that was both amused and full of misery.
“Good luck,” she whispered. Goku smiled sadly and kissed her one more time. Then he pulled away, wiping tears from her cheek with his fingers.
“Goodbye.” He took one more step back and let his arms fell to his side. For a few more seconds the world was still, but then Goku turned around, walked the short distance that separated him from the jeep and jumped in. He didn’t look back when Hakkai started the engine and drove them out, into the early morning mist.
They didn’t talk for the longest time. Goku stared at the landscape, his expression a little sad, and the rest of them was reluctant to breach any subject, those regarding Maiyu in particular. Which was probably for the best. They settled for yawning occasionally, yawning being the universal method of communication in the wee hours of the day.
Surprisingly enough, it was Goku who broke the silence, once the day shifted from dawn into morning.
“I’m surprised you didn’t tie me up and chuck me into the jeep the first chance you got,” he said, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. “What took you so long anyway?”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Gojyo said taking a drag of the second cigarette for the day. “We took a scenic holiday at that castle, while you were gone. Figured we need to make use of the peace and quiet.”
“You were going to just leave me here?”
“We didn’t want to, Goku. It’s just that… you looked so happy.” There was a very wistful note in Hakkai’s voice. Sanzo had yet to speak a word. Goku looked at his companions, his wide eyes blinking rapidly. Then he snorted.
“That’s been bothering you the whole time? I’m happy most of the time. It’s pretty much a crime in this crowd, so I don’t go yelling it out.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sun, so he missed the gapes he received in response.
“So. That girl back there – she seemed quite keen on you,” Gojyo said eventually, desperate to change the subject to something less embarrassing and latching onto one he was most familiar with.
“We were involved,” Goku said shortly. He kept staring at the horizon, avoiding, yet again, the shock in his companion’s eyes.
“Involved?” Gojyo hoped his voice did not come out as squeakily as it sounded to him.
“Yeah.” Another bout of silence descended. Hakkai shot a worried glance at Sanzo and hoped he wouldn’t be forced to turn the jeep around so that an innocent girl could be murdered. Gojyo, having recovered his eyebrows from his hairline, went for the kill. He knew a weak spot when he saw one.
“So, should we expect red-headed toddlers scrambling all over the place on the way back?”
“I don’t think so, why?” Goku shot him a look expressing pure puzzlement. Gojyo grinned.
“Ah, see, when two people of opposite sex are, like you said, involved, these things called children tend to happen. But I suppose we shouldn’t worry prematurely about your offspring.” Goku tilted his head to the side and regarded Gojyo thoughtfully.
“Shouldn’t we be worried? You’ve been screwing around for most of your life and I have to explain condoms to you now?” For all the wide-eyed innocence Goku exuded, he obviously had a good idea what he’d just said, and what it sounded like, as he was bracing himself against the front seat long before he finished speaking. It turned out to be a good idea, as he was the only person undisturbed by the sudden braking Hakkai’s foot involuntarily performed.
When they managed to straighten and get the twitching muscles under control, Goku was hiding a smirk behind his hand.
“You- you stupid monkey,” Gojyo managed eventually, once the sense of being one-upped subsided. He tried to make himself whack the kid over the head, but something made him reconsider. Goku was grinning at the world at large when the jeep started moving again.
“Right, before I forget.” He opened his pack and stuck a hand inside. “There you go.” He dropped the revolver onto Sanzo’s lap. “Yours, I’d think,” he added, very quietly, right by Sanzo’s ear.
Sanzo didn’t move for a long while, and when he finally did it was only to tuck the gun out of sight and bring out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes in what for him passed as bliss.
What was, in fact, pure bliss.
END.
Title: Its Own Place 2/2
Rating: 13+
Genre: drama.
Pairings: Sanzo/Goku
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. The following is strictly for entertainment purposes.
Notes: I have no patience. x____X Anyway - enjoy! I had a fantastic time writing this story (yay for pwning monkeys!), I sincerely hope it shows. ^____^
Thank you
solanum_d, for the spectacular beta-job!The next morning greeted them very early on, with sunlight and singing birds. Sanzo scowled at everything that moved, which for the moment included only Gojyo and Hakkai. Not in the best of moods they made their way downstairs, to see about breakfast. None really felt like eating, but they couldn’t afford to lose health at the moment.
Sanzo was stomping downstairs in a manner that was most unbecoming of a priest. Luckily, he had the sense to forego his traditional robes for the day, opting for a more casual garb, so his stomping seemed less out of place and more just plain rude.
They made their way downstairs without incident. It was on the final landing that Gojyo spoiled the otherwise conflictless morning by walking into Sanzo.
“What the fuck?” he muttered, rubbing his nose, partly because it did hurt and partly in surprise that no one was yelling yet. Then he raised his head and suddenly the reason for the sudden pause was painfully obvious. Goku was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring out the window with a faraway expression on his face. The sunlight streamed through the glass, turning his spiky brown hair into an array of golden strands, his coronet reflecting the warm light like a beacon. He virtually shone in the early morning light.
Sanzo couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“Goku!” He blinked suddenly and looked away from the window. The waitress from yesterday was standing several paces away, her hands on her hips. “Hello, work?” she said seriously, though her mouth was curving in an amused little smile. “You can daydream later.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to,” he answered. He pushed away from the wall and looked up, only now noticing the audience. “Hello. Do you need anything?”
“We were hoping for some breakfast,” Hakkai said, sidestepping Sanzo, who apparently did not plan on moving anytime soon. Goku grinned easily.
“Sure. Find yourselves a table, I’ll be with you in a minute.” He waved at them vaguely and followed the waitress into the dining hall.
Almost compulsively, the three men turned to look at the window that Goku found so fascinating. Nothing particularly interesting there, except for a spectacular view of the sun and a small pond. The only thing to truly look at, was the play of the light on the reflective surfaces the pond and various bits of metal offered.
“He’s remembering, you think?” Gojyo asked no one in particular.
“Didn’t look like he remembered us, in any case,” Hakkai replied. Goku’s fascination with light was a very Goku thing, he always thought, Sanzo the Sun aside. Sanzo just grunted and walked to the first available table.
“What can I get you?” Goku appeared not a minute later with a pad in his hands. Gojyo bit down the instinctive ‘anything you won’t eat on the way from the kitchen’ – insulting the waiter never paid off.
“Just a regular breakfast for three, thank you,” Hakkai said smiling. Once again, he was left to do the honours.
“Right on.” Goku slipped the pad into the apron pocket and disappeared into the kitchen. The regular breakfast for three was greeted with a pointed lack of enthusiasm, but plenty of dutiful chewing. They didn’t talk much, or at all. Since no other guest of the inn seemed bothered with getting breakfast, the meal passed in heavy silence.
Sanzo finished his share faster than both Gojyo and Hakkai, simply by refusing to take another bite. He spent the next five or so minutes staring at his plate, with a sour expression on his face.
The moment Hakkai set his chopsticks down, Goku materialised by their table.
“Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you.” Hakkai smiled politely. Goku smiled at him brightly and heaped the empty dishes onto his tray. Every so often his eyes would dart in Sanzo’s direction, but Sanzo was pointedly looking the other way. Gojyo muttered something, and Hakkai managed to hide his amusement behind a napkin – apparently not even memory loss could quell Goku’s attraction to the surly monk.
“I’m going to get cigarettes,” Sanzo said, standing up. Gojyo raised a brow but did not comment on the half-full pack stuck casually in the back pocket of Sanzo’s jeans.
“I’m going too,” he said instead.
“I’ll meet you upstairs then,” Hakkai said.
Finding the smokes proved to be quite a challenge, this early in the day. Finally, after almost half an hour of wandering around, a shop owner took pity on the two of them and agreed to sell them their fix now instead of two hours later.
Gojyo’s mood lifted considerably, as he took a first drag. Sanzo, on the other hand, automatically lit a cigarette, inhaled twice, and promptly forgot he was smoking. The kappa thought his hairline just might start receding, what with the constant raising of the brows, when Sanzo’s cigarette dropped to the ground. He knew for a fact it barely touched his lips.
The monk was well on his way to becoming pitiful. Gods, how he wished for a camera.
Their return to the inn passed unnoticed – no one was at the desk, nor in the dinning hall. Still, Gojyo could swear he could hear the monkey, being loud as usual.
“Maiyu, damn it. Keep still already!” Definitely Goku’s voice. Gojyo stopped and peered into the staff room carefully. Sanzo, for all his dignity, followed suit. Goku was holding a pair of scissors in his hand, glaring playfully at the waitress they’d seen earlier, calling him back to work.
“You’re waving sharp scissors in front of my face! I’m not exactly comfortable,” she replied, a definite pout in her voice. Her long hair was down. Gojyo, while hardly the expert at female hairdos, had seen enough of them at various stages of being done, so he easily recognised the heaviness of natural curls intensified by the constant presence of a braid.
“You asked for it.”
“I asked you to cut my hair, not to scare me half to death!”
“I wouldn’t, if you’d just sit still!”
“Alright, I’m still.” There was a brief pause and then the scissors snapped once. Then again. And once more. Soon the snapping was constant, a sharp contract to the barely audible sound of severed hair falling to the floor. Aside from that, the room was completely silent, with the easy, confident silence that stems from people simply enjoying each other’s presence.
Gojyo made an effort not to throw a scathing comment at Sanzo. The priest’s body was tense as he watched the proceedings, his fist clenched by his sides and twitching, a sign Gojyo easily recognised as ‘itching to grab the gun and fire a round or five’. Personally, he thought it was a cute sight, for an impartial observer. Of course, he was hardly impartial himself.
Before long, Goku stepped away from the chair, cocking his head to the side as if admiring his work. “There,” he said, putting the scissors away. Maiyu stood up and shook her head. She then picked a mirror and inspected her new hairdo.
“Well, you’re lucky you work at an inn and not a hairdresser’s.”
“I told you I’m no good at this!” Goku said defensively. Maiyu giggled. “I don’t think I’ve ever cut anyone’s hair.”
“How would you know, with the amnesia and everything.” Goku had a way of blinking in confusion that made the slight motion very obvious to anyone who was around at the time. Deep down Gojyo found it absolutely adorable, but he knew there was not enough sex, money or pain in the world to make him admit it.
“The what?”
“Amnesia. Means memory loss,” Maiyu said. Her voice had gone a lot quieter suddenly.
“Oh. Well, I dunno. Just got the feeling.” Goku shrugged, as if losing one’s memory was a fact of life that everyone had to deal with. Sometimes, Gojyo truly envied the monkey. How he could take something as big as a lack of memory in stride, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Still, he’d had practice, not that he remembered it, obviously.
“Well, you’re certainly no expert,” Maiyu said, using the small mirror to get as good a look as possible at the wild strands framing her face. “I really like it.” Even from their vantage point, Sanzo and Gojyo could tell Goku smiled at her words.
“You look cute,” he offered collecting the hair from the floor.
“Oh, I promised you food already, you don’t need to flatter me.” She busied herself with swiping the rest into the bin.
“I could always get more,” Goku said grinning. Maiyu laughed and punched his shoulder playfully. Together they left the room. In the silence that followed their departure, the gritting of teeth was loud as a gunshot.
“He looks good,” Gojyo said. His fingers automatically delved into the cigarette pack. “I mean,” he continued, correctly assuming Sanzo had no intention of acknowledging him, “Damn. He’s no kid anymore.”
“And that’s so fucking relevant now, because?”
“It speaks. Whaddya know? Not relevant at all. Just – I mean it’s kinda hard not to grow up, living as we do. Still feels weird to be seeing him on his own, like this.”
“He’s been like this, as you put it, for a long while now.” Now this was a comment to turn Gojyo’s head.
“Shit, you know that sounded like you were actually looking!” His whole being fell into the familiar pattern of teasing the high and mighty monk, except something was not quite right with the picture. He furrowed his brows. “You were looking,” he said eventually. And fuck, wasn’t that a revelation! “You were what, waiting for him to grow up enough for you?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Fuck, you’re more retarded than I thought!” Sanzo’s eyes flashed dangerously, as he gripped Gojyo’s shirt by the lapels.
“What was that supposed to mean?”
“I’m saying, you’re a fucking dumbass, if you’re waiting for whatever it is you’re waiting for, and not just telling the kid you want him.”
“Fuck. Off.”
“Granted, I’ve never bothered to find out which way he swings, mainly because I strongly suspect he swings both and neither, but I hardly think it matters, in your case. Especially in your case.” A pause. “What with you being all pretty and stuff.”
“Shut up.”
“Of course, there’s the whole issue of you being a rather lousy boyfriend material.” By the slightest of twitches to ever grace Sanzo’s face, Gojyo knew he’d hit the proverbial nail on the head. “But the thing is, your holiness, he knows that. You’ve been living together for most of the time he remembers, he knows what an absolute bastard you are. Frankly, I’d have hightailed it out of your esteemed company a long time ago, but he still puts up with your shit. So there you go.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” And strike me down, Gojyo thought, if Sanzo wasn’t actually completely lost and confused about the issue. That was an actual, genuine question! In Sanzo-speak, that is.
“It’s supposed to mean that – for reasons I personally find completely fucking unreasonable – he thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Or he thought, since now he is a lot more objective.”
“Fuck you.”
“Likewise, asshole.” They were silent all the way back to their room.
It was shaping up to be a very long day. Long, dull and completely bereft of ideas. The high point came around midday, when Sanzo, who slipped into a vegetative state ever since his earlier conversation with Gojyo, got up and went to the bathroom. Aside from that, they remained inside the room, barely acknowledging one another’s presence.
They only moved in the early evening, when Hakkai decided, in his reasonable voice, no less, that they needed to eat something, all of them. Sanzo, without saying a word, got up, and left the room. Gojyo gave a Hakkai a half-amused look, but followed the monk without protest. Sanzo was apparently adamant about not setting a foot in the inn’s dining hall, so out they went, to look for another establishment. Judging by Sanzo’s countenance, it would be an establishment that served hard liquor in large quantities.
The business of the streets took them by surprise.
“Why’s the damn place so crowded? There’s maybe ten people total in the whole shit-hole, where did all those people come from?” Gojyo asked, staring in disbelief at the crowds milling across the streets.
“It’s a festival of some sorts.” Hakkai explained.
“Thank you, oh wise one. I’m sure that is a conclusion I wouldn’t have reached on my own.”
“I’m happy I offered assistance then.”
“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” And shut up they did. If Sanzo was telling Hakkai to shut up, his mood was even worse than usual. Not that they had to guess just why was he in a particularly foul mood – the whole situation warranted a substantial amount of irritation – but the reason for this bout of anger was just passing them by, paying absolutely no attention whatsoever to their existence.
Goku was walking down the street, grinning like the average village fair was the best thing that’d ever happened to him. Maiyu was walking beside him, smiling and lovely, her wispy hairdo floating around her face like a small, fluffy cloud, and Gojyo’s womanising habits got the best of him.
“She is really pretty,” he said and winced. Now he was in for it, if Hakkai’s charming smile and Sanzo’s murderous expressions were anything to go by. “What? She is!”
“She doesn’t seem to be a day older than eighteen, Gojyo.”
“She is still very pretty. She’d look even better if she got herself shorter skirts.” Maiyu seemed to be quite content with her calf-length dresses, with flowing skirts and fitted tops, content in the knowledge that it went well with her willowy figure. And go well it did, Gojyo knew. Totally not his cup of girl, but he could admire the view all the same.
Except not this time he couldn’t, because Sanzo was growling and hitting him with that damned fan of his – which was rather mild, considering his mood. Why wasn’t he shooting yet? Gojyo ran the events of the past few days through his mind and suddenly he knew.
“Where is your gun?” he asked, and there was a grin hovering just behind his red eyes, ready to break his face in half. It never did, because Sanzo stilled, as suddenly as he’d whipped the fan out in the first place, and stared at him like he’d grown a second head. Then he whirled in place and stalked off, barely noticeable in the crowd in his black shirt and jeans.
“He didn’t go to get it back,” Hakkai said, almost in wonder. He tried to think back to any time he’d seen Sanzo without his gun and came up empty-handed.
“Can you blame the asshole? Goku was fucking scary, I wouldn’t want to talk to him either. Kinda like I don’t really want to be standing here, talking to you, cause well. You could give lessons in scary.” Hakkai raised a brow and smiled, just a little. But that was fine, that was a genuine smile of amusement. Gojyo was suddenly struck by the frightening realisation what would it be like, not to see that smile ever again.
It was a prospect too frightening to even consider.
“I see your point. Let’s go find Sanzo.”
They caught up to Sanzo ten minutes later. He was leaning against the back of a stall, hidden from the lampions’ light, watching the crowd go on around him. More specifically, watching Goku laughing and joking, watching Goku have an absolutely wonderful time.
It was hard to tell in a crowd, but there seemed to be a group of people, not just Maiyu, tugging the monkey around. They (and it was a pretty loose definitions of ‘they’ – it could have been a group of two as well as ten) crowded around a stand filled with fancy sweets. Quite predictably, considering Goku’s bottomless pit of a stomach, that they’d be located around edibles, but it was surprising they settled for sweets rather than actual food. For all his cravings, and he had them worse than any pregnant woman, Goku generally opted for filling rather than junk. Hakkai guessed it was a leftover from his stay in the cave, the constant need to have his tummy full. Which, now that he considered it, explained why he was comfortably working in an inn, and indulged in candy rather than meatbuns. If he didn’t remember the cave, perhaps the compulsion to eat wasn’t as strong.
Maiyu was saying something and Goku looked at her in surprise, but then he was nodding and grinning at the lady who managed the stall. Not a minute later the lady was handing him a portion of cotton candy, way too big for a normal person, but probably just a snack for Goku. Except he was not eating the fluffy treat, he was staring at it in something vaguely resembling confusion. He turned his head and said something to Maiyu, and they could see her eyes go wide, right before she burst out laughing. Goku’s mouth curled in a pout that was a little too adorable to be a genuine sign of offence.
Maiyu was still grinning, and Sanzo gained a look that was positively murderous, when she plucked a small patch of the cotton with her fingertips and waved it vaguely in Goku’s face. He looked at the piece of fluff, beamed, and snatched it from her fingers with his mouth. Maiyu jumped back, surprised, and their little group exploded in merry laughter. Sanzo gritted his teeth, pushed away from the wall and disappeared between the stalls.
Hakkai and Gojyo did not hesitate long before following. They found Sanzo in their room, sitting utterly and completely still, staring at the wall. He said nothing when they pulled out a chair each and sat at the table.
“We’re leaving. First thing tomorrow,” Sanzo said after a few minutes, never pausing in his perusal of the paintwork.
“Without Goku?” Hakkai asked, his voice coloured with disbelief.
“We can do it without the dumb monkey. We’ve wasted enough time as it is. It’s a mission, not a fucking road trip.”
“Screw the mission!” Gojyo jumped to his feet, nearly overturning the table on his way. “Screw the gods, screw the fucking Shangri-La! We can’t leave without the monkey!”
“And why the hell not?!”
“Did you look in the mirror this morning? You look like a fucking corpse! You haven’t slept in days, you’re barely eating, man, you’ve almost stopped smoking. One more week and I’ll be putting the fucking gun to your head, out of pity!” He leaned towards the priest.
“I don’t need him!” Sanzo screamed in Gojyo’s face, his hands twisting in the man’s shirt. Gojyo grinned humourlessly. His hands gripped Sanzo’s wrists forcing them away from his throat. He then leaned forward, until they were again nose to nose.
“Nice bluff,” he said quietly. “But I call.”
“Fuck you.” Sanzo picked the pack of cigarettes from the table and stormed out.
“That wasn’t smart, you know,” Hakkai said.
“Fuck the hypocrite. Sure, we can do it without the monkey, it’d be tough as hell but we can manage. Except that we can’t really, cause his holiness will take the first opportunity to get a set of claws through his stomach. And frankly, I can’t quite imagine ‘the Sanzo party’ without the asshole.”
“Sanzo doesn’t seem to be the suicidal type.”
“Like he has to be. Hakkai, he looks like shit, and that’s with the monkey prancing about. Can you imagine what would happen if we actually left? Running him over repeatedly with the jeep would be doing him a favour.”
“That would be a little too extreme, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you’re right. He’d be too weak from not eating or sleeping by the time we muster enough pity to put him out of his misery. Once would be plenty.”
“Gojyo.”
“Oh, please. The guy is wasting away, moping after his monkey. And while I solemnly swear to tease him about it later, first we must make sure there will be a later.”
“I hate to imagine what Sanzo would do to you, if he ever heard you saying that.”
“What? He is moping. Thank heavens it’s not raining, or he would be making use of his bullet stash by now.”
All the energy Sanzo put in storming out of the room deserted him as soon as he was out the door. At a much slower pace he made his way downstairs and found the most secluded table the inn had to offer, not that it mattered much – most people were out anyway, enjoying the carnival. He threw the cigarettes down and sat down heavily.
“Wine,” he ordered sharply when a waitress approached. The girl – not Maiyu, he noted, only half pleased, as he definitely would have put a bullet through her brain, by hand if need be – took a good look at him and nodded, clutching a tray to her chest and disappearing as soon as possible. Within minutes she was handing him a glass and a bottle.
Sanzo virtually gulped the first glass down. Visibly calmer, he proceeded to refill and continue getting drunk at a steady pace, periodically calling the waitress and asking for more. He didn’t bother to keep track of time. It wasn’t like he cared, anyway. The alcohol numbed his soul pleasantly, leaving him the way he preferred to be – uncaring and unemotional. Not bothered in the slightest about the idiotic monkey who had no memory of him. He didn’t need the little idiot, with his constant yammering for food. He didn’t need to spend his days listening to him chatter excitedly about his fight with Kougaji, meatbuns, or whatever crossed his tiny monkey brain. He didn’t need the cretin looking at him with that shine in his eyes, the one reserved especially for him. He neither needed nor wanted to have the monkey beam up at him like he was the fucking sun. In fact, the bloody journey would be a lot easier without him. They might run into some tough monsters, but fuck them, they could learn to deal. He could always sic Hakkai on any arising problems. They weren’t likely to come across many things scarier than Hakkai.
The point was, he didn’t need the monkey. Not one fucking bit.
“Sir? We closing for the night.” Sanzo raised his head and made an effort to focus. Goku’s wide eyes were fixed on him. Focusing was almost a two-man job.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
“Suit yourself.” Goku shrugged and set to work. Sanzo’s attention, had it been on anything else, would have immediately riveted onto Goku. Domestic chores weren’t really something his charge had time or will to master. At the temple the monks took care of everything, and on the road there wasn’t much to do, on a daily basis. All the more fascinating, to watch Goku methodically wipe down the tables, stack the chairs on them and swipe the floor like he never did anything else in his life. He wasn’t wearing the work uniform, Sanzo noted, but the clothes he wore at the fair earlier. Not surprising really. He’d probably just came back for a short while to close up.
“Stop staring at me.” Sanzo started.
“What?”
“Stop staring at me. It’s distracting.” Goku was looking at him now, a strange expression on his face.
“Ch’. Serves you right.” Goku’s eyes narrowed.
“What exactly is your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Right. You normally get drunk all alone in the middle of the night and stare at people like some demented creep.” Sanzo refused to reply. He averted his eyes and stared at the wall instead. When he dared to turn his head again, he found Goku standing right next to his table, an expectant expression on his face. “I’m sorry, but I really need to clean up.” Sanzo made an effort and got up without hinting on an alcohol-induced stupor. He might be losing the drinking games to Hakkai on a regular basis, but he could still drink most people under the table. “Thanks.” Goku nodded in his direction.
Sanzo was barely aware he was capable of feeling at all, let alone feeling like a kicked puppy. As he stood in the scarcely lit dining hall, however, watching Goku pay him no attention whatsoever, he suddenly realised that gods truly loathed him, with a passion worthy of a better cause.
Sanzo would later blame alcohol and whatever was in it (he knew it had to be spiked. His head was too strong to submit to mere spirits) for taking control of his body, if only because he knew he would have never done it himself. It wasn’t him, it could not have been him, who reached out and tangled his hand in Goku’s thick hair.
“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” It must have been the alcohol, because Sanzo would never reach out for anyone, let alone the dumb monkey. He might have occasionally shoved people against the wall, but his intentions were always radically violent. He would have never voluntarily touched anyone with anything even remotely resembling tenderness, nor would he ever run his hands down anyone’s face. Sanzo would have never, of this he was quite sure, kissed anyone, certainly not with frantic, desperate urgency.
“You’re mine,” he would never have said to anything sentient.
It must have been a truly bizarre, alcohol-induced dream he was having, because he knew there was no way he’d ever hold on to Goku like he was a lifeline. Not unless he was dangling off a cliff with no other means of support. There was no way he’d ever press his thumbs against Goku’s jaw, tilting his head back, so that he could reach his lips more easily. He could hardly imagine ever doing so. Worse yet, he could hardly imagine ever not doing so.
“I don’t belong to anyone.” Sanzo heard the words dimly, much more concerned with the hands tearing him away from Goku’s warm mouth. “It’s flattering, but you’re absolutely hopeless at seducing people. Just so you know.” They stared at one another for a few moments. Then Goku quite simply finished stacking the chairs on the table Sanzo was using, picked up the rag and the broom and left. “Don’t touch me again,” he added, halfway out the door. “Or I swear I will beat you up.”
Sanzo leaned against the wall heavily, staring at the empty doorway. His hand pressed itself to his mouth entirely on its own, following the pattern established not a minute before. Trying to wrap his mind around what’d just happened proved to be too much of a strain for his brain, however. His body’s motor functions shut down briefly, and Sanzo slid to the floor, his back against the wall.
“Fuck.”
xxx.XXX.xxx
Sanzo was tapping his fingers against the table. Considering his usual preference for unnerving people by not moving a muscle unless it was to utilise some of the nourishing and/or addictive substances, it wasn’t a good sign. They could hear the laughter from across the room and it was making all three of them uncomfortable. The staff of the inn was having a great time, polishing glasses and preparing the bar for the day, as inane as the idea seemed to an outsider. Goku was laughing and his voice carried all the way to the table the dejected remains of Sanzo party was occupying. It was a good, hearty laugh, one that signalled not mere amusement, but actual joy. Normally it would be enough to brighten all of their moods, on their respective scales, but right now it only served to make all three of them feel even more depressed.
“We’re leaving,” Sanzo said quietly. It was the third time this morning he’d said the words, but this time there was an empty note of finality in his voice. He stood up heavily, collected his cigarette pack and turned his back to the bar. He got as far as the edge of the table, Gojyo and Hakkai reluctantly following, when the sound of breaking glass reached his ears.
“Goku!”
“Shit…” Goku moaned, clutching at his head. He was suddenly on the floor, kneeling over a couple of broken glasses, drawing deep, shuddering breaths. Luckily, the attack was not long-lasting – almost as soon as it arrived, it was already past. Maiyu squatted next to Goku, pulling his hands away from his head. He looked up slowly, staring into her concerned face.
“Goku?” she asked. “Are you alright?” He ducked his head, away from her gaze.
“Yeah. I’m good.” He looked to the side, as if looking for something. His eyes fell on Sanzo eventually. The monk stood frozen on the spot, his mouth clamping on the words of prayers he would never allow himself to utter. He felt Goku’s gaze travel over him until it reached his eyes, and when it finally did-
His fingers tightened on the table edge convulsively. The luminosity was back. Goku’s eyes were golden again, as they stared up at him. Sanzo felt his whole body relax. For a few moments he thought his legs just might give and he’d end up sprawled all over the floor. For once, however, the kappa proved himself useful and clutched his arm.
“Don’t touch me,” Sanzo said. It was intended as a growl, but ended up as nothing more than a weak suggestion.
“Looks like I won’t get to run you over. Damn. I was looking forward to watching you squirm under Jeep’s tyres.” Sanzo muttered something and Gojyo could almost laugh. It spoke volumes about Sanzo’s state of mind that he could actually hear the clumsy ‘thank you’.
On the other side of the room, Goku stood up a little awkwardly, pressing the heel of his palm against his eye.
“Shit,” he said.
“Goku?” He glanced at the Maiyu’s anxious expression and tried to say something, but seemed to find himself at loss for words. He brought his hand up, brushed a strand of hair away from her face and tried to say something again, but didn’t.
Giving up on talking, he walked over to Sanzo and, without looking up, muttered several words that Hakkai couldn’t quite hear. Without waiting for a reaction, he turned around and walked away, disappearing into the kitchen. Maiyu cast a questioning look in their direction and followed, now more agitated than ever.
“Sanzo?” Hakkai asked, exchanging puzzled glances with the rest of the inn’s staff and Gojyo. “What did he say?”
“He wants us to stay until tomorrow morning,” Gojyo replied, as coherent speech seemed to be out of Sanzo’s immediate abilities. “Beats me why he’d want to.” Privately, Hakkai thought he had a good idea, but he refrained from voicing it. Everything seemed to resolve itself on its own, no use looking a gift horse in the mouth.
They only talked with Goku briefly that day, when he brought them dinner. Actually, it wasn’t much of a talk, since Sanzo was still not entirely back and therefore silent as a grave. All Goku said was that he’d be waiting at dawn outside of the inn, ready to go. A vague nod was apparently all the confirmation he needed, because the next moment he was striding through the inn and out of sight again.
“What’s his deal anyway?” Gojyo asked, lighting his first dinner cigarette.
“He’s been living here for half a year, Gojyo, or have you forgotten? I suspect he must quit his job, say goodbye to his friends, that sort of thing.”
“Ah, right. Forgot about that.” He hadn’t bothered saying goodbye when they set out on the journey. It wasn’t like anyone would miss him anyway and his job… Most of the suckers he played for money would probably be grateful to see him gone, if only for a while. But Goku, here… Damn. It wasn’t like he knew the whole town, not even close, but he did seem pretty cosy with the staff of the inn.
Gojyo decided to desert that track of thought, before it fried his brain.
In the end, the three of them spent most of the day holed up in their tiny room. Like the past few days, it was very quiet, but this was a good, comfortable silence, of the ‘we won, again’ variety.
Abiding by the rules of contrast, the following morning was rather awkward, only partly because of the ridiculousness of the hour. Goku was waiting for them, just as he promised: out front, his bag at his feet. But the expression on his face was wistful.
“Took you long enough,” he said by way of greeting.
“Ah, Sanzo needed his beauty sleep. He didn’t get much the past week, and he wanted to look extra pretty for you today,” Gojyo proclaimed, his arms spreading theatrically. Goku snorted. “Beats me, why he’d go all out for a monkey like you, but there you go. His royal holiness, in all his glory. Allow me to bring out the fanfares.”
“I kinda missed being called a monkey all the time. I’m starting to think there’s something seriously wrong with me,” Goku muttered, watching Sanzo stride by him and into the jeep without a second glance. The first was rather long and poignant, so it was probably enough to settle any lingering doubts. Goku threw his bag into the back and sighed.
“Goku.” The name was spoken so quietly, it was barely there. Goku heard it, nevertheless. Almost reluctantly, he turned around.
“Maiyu.”
“I made you some snacks,” she said, holding out a wrapped box, big enough that she had to carry it with both of her hands. “For- for the way.” She made no move to approach the jeep, so Goku took the neatly package from her lax hands and deposited it in the car carefully. Gojyo raised his brows, but was largely ignored. Hakkai shot a look at all three of his companions in turn, but received no answer. Sanzo ignored the world in general and stared ahead.
“Thank you.” She stared at him, for a few seconds. Then, without warning, she flung her arms around his neck and hid her face against Goku’s collar. He in turn wrapped his arms around her waist, clutching her as tightly as she was holding him. “Maiyu…”
“Don’t go. Please don’t leave,” she whispered, moving her hands into his hair and tilting his head just so. “Don’t…” she whispered, pressing her mouth against his, “Go.” Goku’s arms tightened around her waist bringing them closer still, and they were kissing, like the world around them stopped spinning. Sanzo, even though he did not turn his head once ever since Maiyu appeared, clenched his eyes tightly.
Sometimes Hakkai wanted to ask just how deep the bond he shared with Goku went, because Sanzo seemed to always be aware not only where Goku was, but, even though Hakkai knew he was speculating wildly, what he was feeling too. He never did ask, mostly because he knew Sanzo wouldn’t answer, or at least wouldn’t answer truthfully. That was strictly between the two of them, he eventually surmised. A fitting vocal equivalent of the thread at their fingertips, he’d thought once, amused at finding the perfect metaphor and also not a little jealous. His own was more visual than he’d care to admit.
Gojyo made a show of slicking his hair away from his face, mostly to force himself to look away. He followed the gazes of Hakkai and Sanzo, but it was too late to not see. A part of him found itself envious of the monkey. Here he was, not even a damn year of living in the village and he had a good life going for him, a life that could pass as normal, by general standards. He had friends, he had a job which wasn’t maybe the pinnacle of human achievement, but it was a good solid job. He even had a girl, for fuck’s sake, if the display behind his back was any indication. And that hurt, though he hated to admit it. It hurt, because he was leaving all of that to get back to the – admittedly, quite exciting – journey; one filled with close calls, near misses, violence and probably a lot of pain and a possible death in the end. And then there was the constant verbal and physical abuse. He understood that Goku wasn’t actually being abused; it wasn’t like anything could make a victim out of the monkey, he could wipe the floor with either of them, for crying out loud, but his day-to-day life wasn’t exactly peaches and cream. Because there were plenty of things that said “I love you” better than a whiz of a bullet around the head. Things like kissing, for instance. Or homemade lunches, which, to be fair, Hakkai made an effort to provide as often as he could.
“You won’t be back, will you?” Maiyu said quietly, and although she phrased it like a question it had the irrevocability of a statement. Goku smiled and shook his head.
“No,” he said, his voice even more quiet than hers, but equally final.
“You’re a bastard, do you know that?”
“Yeah, well. Considering my role models…” She laughed, a choked little laugh that was both amused and full of misery.
“Good luck,” she whispered. Goku smiled sadly and kissed her one more time. Then he pulled away, wiping tears from her cheek with his fingers.
“Goodbye.” He took one more step back and let his arms fell to his side. For a few more seconds the world was still, but then Goku turned around, walked the short distance that separated him from the jeep and jumped in. He didn’t look back when Hakkai started the engine and drove them out, into the early morning mist.
They didn’t talk for the longest time. Goku stared at the landscape, his expression a little sad, and the rest of them was reluctant to breach any subject, those regarding Maiyu in particular. Which was probably for the best. They settled for yawning occasionally, yawning being the universal method of communication in the wee hours of the day.
Surprisingly enough, it was Goku who broke the silence, once the day shifted from dawn into morning.
“I’m surprised you didn’t tie me up and chuck me into the jeep the first chance you got,” he said, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. “What took you so long anyway?”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Gojyo said taking a drag of the second cigarette for the day. “We took a scenic holiday at that castle, while you were gone. Figured we need to make use of the peace and quiet.”
“You were going to just leave me here?”
“We didn’t want to, Goku. It’s just that… you looked so happy.” There was a very wistful note in Hakkai’s voice. Sanzo had yet to speak a word. Goku looked at his companions, his wide eyes blinking rapidly. Then he snorted.
“That’s been bothering you the whole time? I’m happy most of the time. It’s pretty much a crime in this crowd, so I don’t go yelling it out.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sun, so he missed the gapes he received in response.
“So. That girl back there – she seemed quite keen on you,” Gojyo said eventually, desperate to change the subject to something less embarrassing and latching onto one he was most familiar with.
“We were involved,” Goku said shortly. He kept staring at the horizon, avoiding, yet again, the shock in his companion’s eyes.
“Involved?” Gojyo hoped his voice did not come out as squeakily as it sounded to him.
“Yeah.” Another bout of silence descended. Hakkai shot a worried glance at Sanzo and hoped he wouldn’t be forced to turn the jeep around so that an innocent girl could be murdered. Gojyo, having recovered his eyebrows from his hairline, went for the kill. He knew a weak spot when he saw one.
“So, should we expect red-headed toddlers scrambling all over the place on the way back?”
“I don’t think so, why?” Goku shot him a look expressing pure puzzlement. Gojyo grinned.
“Ah, see, when two people of opposite sex are, like you said, involved, these things called children tend to happen. But I suppose we shouldn’t worry prematurely about your offspring.” Goku tilted his head to the side and regarded Gojyo thoughtfully.
“Shouldn’t we be worried? You’ve been screwing around for most of your life and I have to explain condoms to you now?” For all the wide-eyed innocence Goku exuded, he obviously had a good idea what he’d just said, and what it sounded like, as he was bracing himself against the front seat long before he finished speaking. It turned out to be a good idea, as he was the only person undisturbed by the sudden braking Hakkai’s foot involuntarily performed.
When they managed to straighten and get the twitching muscles under control, Goku was hiding a smirk behind his hand.
“You- you stupid monkey,” Gojyo managed eventually, once the sense of being one-upped subsided. He tried to make himself whack the kid over the head, but something made him reconsider. Goku was grinning at the world at large when the jeep started moving again.
“Right, before I forget.” He opened his pack and stuck a hand inside. “There you go.” He dropped the revolver onto Sanzo’s lap. “Yours, I’d think,” he added, very quietly, right by Sanzo’s ear.
Sanzo didn’t move for a long while, and when he finally did it was only to tuck the gun out of sight and bring out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes in what for him passed as bliss.
What was, in fact, pure bliss.
END.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 08:29 am (UTC)And the ending was perfect (even if the idea of Goku talking so openly about sex was a bit disturbing--though I'm sure the other three of them found it at least as disturbing as I did, haha). <3 Thanks so much for sharing this.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 04:59 pm (UTC)Thank you. Yeah, I know it's not entirely him, but I thought hey, it's been six months and Gojyo did leave himself wide open. ^_____^
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 05:00 pm (UTC)happy ending
Date: 2007-02-14 04:18 pm (UTC)cant explain very well i guess
there's something hidden in your fic... which i havent "gotten" (am probably too tired right now...
so i shall be reading this again...
Re: happy ending
Date: 2007-02-14 05:03 pm (UTC)Re: happy ending
Date: 2007-08-26 02:44 pm (UTC)i have no idea what i was going on about
so i will blame the being too tired
but, why was sanzo soo.. blissful?
that he won?
Re: happy ending
Date: 2007-09-04 05:10 pm (UTC)I was thinking Sanzo was blissful because a/ he knew Goku reciprocated his feelings, which he was fearful about, and b/ that Goku would choose him over anyone else, however nice they are, which he was also fearful about.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 06:25 pm (UTC)even though I was desperate for Sanzo to win him back.And I love that you kept it real, that it wasn't a big emotional reunion. Great job!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 07:21 pm (UTC)off a cliffin front of the jeep.^____^ I tried, actually, but Sanzo kind of glared and stalked off and found a different inn.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 04:07 am (UTC)And I could only imagine how fast Gojyo would have a new hole in his head if he had tried to pull some of those insults when Sanzo was back to normal :snicker:
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 06:28 pm (UTC)*claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 10:31 pm (UTC)I thought I hadn't read this, but I did. And commented. ^_^ And loved it as I was reading it for a second time. I still love your realistic ending here. Goku wouldn't just pop up and say, "Oh, take me now Sanzo-sama!" after being involved with someone else and sort-of away for six months.
That's probably what I love most about this story.
Anyway, I went ahead and friended you so I can keep up with your postings. ^_^ You don't have to friend me back, but I thought I would give you a heads-up.
-EoS
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 10:51 pm (UTC)I was originally planning a more 39 ending, but then I realised it just wouldn't work. Goku will probably tease Sanzo about his "seductive" nature, no worries there. *grins*
Thank you very much, once more. I loved writing this story so much, it makes me very happy to hear you liked it too. ♥
I'm friending back. *beams*
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:00 pm (UTC)I agree with you entirely. As much as I love 39 fluff endings, I do also occasionally enjoy pieces like this. Sometimes, there are no happy endings.
But I did love Sanzo's decision at the end. That it was just okay that Goku was there at all. That really showed (to me at least) that he really cares for him, moreso than if they would have ended up as a couple.
Forgive the gush-ness. *hands you a towel*
^__^ *is pleased* Yay!
I'm also probably going to have the next chappie of Liturgy up too, in the next couple of days. It needed major work...I wasn't pleased with it at all, and I just got it back from the beta-team. Such is life. It needs work.
-EoS
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:12 pm (UTC)I must admit, I do find it strange that you assume they wouldn't end up a couple in this fic. I was sure I implied they would. Oh well. You liked it, and that's most important.
Wheee, more Liturgy!! Can't wait.
Hm. What is Sanzo running for? The icon is absolutely hypnotising.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:19 pm (UTC)Indeedy. I've been working on getting it the way I want it. I actually have up to chapter ten written, but they're raw and I won't let anyone but the betas touch it.
And he's not running...he's tripping. It's from an episode of Gunlock where he's walking away from Hazel and Gat, and he trips. I found the icon somewhere AGES ago and about died laughing. Naturally I had to put it up! ^_^ It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who sat there and watched it for a moment or two.
-EoS
P.S. Your icon made me giggle. Did you make it?
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:26 pm (UTC)I can't wait. I'm such a fiend for religion-themed stories. Especially when they border on blasphemy (that's a good thing!).
I gave up on Gunlock. Am waiting for manga instead. Sanzo tripping - *snerk*
Yes, I did. *grins* Sanzo/Goku lovechild. Lol.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:49 pm (UTC)That's really funny that you say that...I'm a religion buff, even if I'm not particularly religious. I have this whole obsession with it, to be honest. And the idea of the Stigmata is something that I've always found fascinating, even before I saw the movie.
As this story progresses, it's moving further and further away from the movie, in all honesty. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be a crossover. O_O
Yeah, I just got to the part in Gunlock when Hazel appears...and his el-fako Italian accent makes me hate him even more.
The icon is darling. I wish I could make them, but alas. I'm not that talented...and probably don't have the software anyway. What do you use?
The extent of my computer creativity can be seen on my journal. Meh.
-EoS
P.S. This one is great too...poor Gojyo. I love it.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-02 11:57 pm (UTC)OMG. Did you caps of the ending? Emnyona has it in her memories. So. Horribly. Bad. Emo and stupid. I was completely disappointed with the anime, from Reload on.
I use PhotoShop 6.0 and ImageReady 3.0 I think my version is. Gojyo is so darling. A kappa that can't swim. *snickers*
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-03 12:09 am (UTC)I'm refraining from watching further...simply because I don't want to know. *makes face* It's sad when I don't even know if I'm going to buy the rest of Gunlock. I probably will, just for the sake of finishing my Saiyuki collection.
From what I hear, it's terrible. It's basically like what happened with Gojyo and Kami-sama, just with Sanzo and Hazel. I hate Hazel with a fiery passion. I don't think words can even express that. I had someone ask if he was going to make an appearance in Liturgy...and I about died. I remember the pm I sent back. "ARE YOU F*$&*#% NUTS!? HAZEL WASN'T IN THE HOMURA ARC!!!" Though, I did get a request to put Nataku in there...I was thinking about it. Meh.
Spiffy. And that's why we all love Gojyo. ^_^
-EoS
P.S. Is that...an 89 icon? Or is that Gojun and Hakkai? *is confused*
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-03 12:15 am (UTC)I haven't really seen/read anything with Hazel in it. Stopped watching anime when it got bad (the one episode I had hopes for was Gunlock #12, the episode about how pretty Sanzo's face was, but it degenerated into melodrama). I hear manga!Hazel is beyond good though.
Yep, that's an 89 icon. I have a tiny weakness for that pairing. Especially if Seiten Taisei is involved... *cough (http://keire-ke.livejournal.com/96717.html)*
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-03 12:29 am (UTC)Yeah, the anime made me sad too. But, tried and true fan that I am and person who cannot stand an incomplete collection (which is why I'm broke all the time, by the way) of anything, I'm getting. Plus, I started, I might as well finish.
*looks about* You too, huh? I have a small place in my heart for 89, 59, or 38. Sometimes I just get a craving for it. I have three 89 and one 59 doujinshi that I bought on one of those spurts.
Hazel just makes me mad. Period. I don't know why, he just does.
And the piccie is teh awesomeness! *points to Sasuke* Your art is beautiful. As someone who can't draw a straight line with a ruler, I'm duly impressed.
-EoS
P.S. I'll add you on my Yahoo bl the next time I get on. Today it was being kind of wonky.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-03 05:59 pm (UTC)I understand your pain, believe me. I would be buying if I had the original DVDs too. Hell, I once spent literally a whole day running all around a city to find MKR#3 in German, so that it would match with the others I bought. So yeah - complete series freak here as well. ^____^
I'm not really fond of 38, for some reason. Sanzo's either with the monkey, or no one touches him at all. 89 though, woah. There's so much angst potential in there and hardly anyone writes it! Two words for you people: pointy ears. 59 is quite fun too.
Thank you. ^____^ I've a 93 pr0n somewhere too, posted quite recently.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-04 02:00 am (UTC)Nice to know I'm not the only one. I'm really anal about having complete collections when it comes to manga. It's REALLY bad.
See, I'm not fond of 35/53. I just can't stomach it. And I'm really testy about 38. I'm particular. But totally with you on the 89. *winks* Have you ever read Teaching Goku on affdotnet? Best 59 story I think I've ever read.
I'll go peruse for it when I'm not within the vicinity of younger children. XD I have some morals. And of course I'll let you know what I think!
-EoS
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-04 09:17 pm (UTC)Not just complete, it needs to be complete and matching. *nods*
I think Sanzo and Gojyo would kill each other. I could potentially see them having sex, in an AU, if they were drunk enough, but a relationship just wouldn't work. Sanzo needs someone who's willing to let him/herself be ruled over, so Gojyo = a very bad match. I can't access aff.net half the time, so no, I haven't. Although there was a 95 ficcy on ff.net recently that I really enjoyed. But still not enough 89!!
Morals? Where can I get me some of those? ;)
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-05 03:43 am (UTC)Yay for being anal retentive! *cheers*
I agree entirely. That's how I view them as well. Goku deliberatly submits to Sanzo's will, but Gojyo would be like, "Pfft. Says you. You're on bottom, bitch!" And thus would end that relationship. XD
I'll send you the link when I get the chance. Well worth the read, and nice and lemony. ^_^
I'm actually in the process of writing a 59 and an 89. *sweatdrop* As well as a 38 and a ST9. Two fic requests. Should be interesting.
I think you can buy them in the sporting good section of Wal-mart. XD
And I'm posting Liturgy tomorrow! Yay!
-EoS
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-05 04:05 am (UTC)Goku is a very agreeable monkey. Not to say he's a pushover, but if it doesn't hurt him and makes Sanzo feel better, who's he to protest?
Don't bother with a link, unless it's off aff.net - I literally cannot access the site. My uni blocks adult content, the bastards.
I can't wait! I have a pretty weird 89 on my hd, only I'm kinda stuck. It's more of a vignette than an actual fic though, so I suppose it could stand on it's own.
Damn. No Walmart on our side of the puddle. *sulk* Guess I'll have to do without morals then.
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-05 03:25 pm (UTC)Er...I could email you the story, if you'd like. It's really long, but well worth the read. Especially if you're in need of some good prOn. XD
Spiffy. Spreadin' the weird pairing love. I would be really interested in reading it, if you plan on posting it.
Oh well. I guess you'll have to go without. XD I guess you'll have to be like me, what with my twincest obsession (HikaruxKaoru all the way!) and my occasional dip into shota. (K9 anyone?)
-EoS
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-05 03:56 pm (UTC)Nah, I'm good, but thanks for the offer. I'm generally not all that into pr0n.
I probably will, no fun writing stuff that you don't post. ^_____^
Woohoo! You're speaking my language, lady. *grins*
Re: *claps*
Date: 2007-03-05 07:48 pm (UTC)That's fine. ^_^ I understand.
Yay! *dances* That makes me happy. I always love reading your stuffles. But you knew that already. ^_^
Yay for taboos! It's funny, because I adore the twins, but things like Elricest squicks me. The same goes for the shota...I love K9, but I can't stand things like Kakashi and Sasuke from Naruto. *hides in a corner*
My brain works in mysterious ways, sometimes.
-EoS
In it's own place 3?
Date: 2007-08-07 02:48 pm (UTC)Re: In it's own place 3?
Date: 2007-08-07 09:03 pm (UTC)I guess it won't be much of a spoiler if I say that yes, Hina really is Goku's daughter. ;P
no subject
Date: 2007-11-07 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-07 10:03 pm (UTC)